| rev:text
| - I've come here exactly twice, and I can only describe this experience as taking drugs.
The first time was magnificent, but the second time around was pretty much trying to relive the fulfilment of the first time--chasing the dragon--if you will...and I wondered, just what the hell was it about this place I found so fascinating the first time around?
My first visit here was prior to developing a discriminating taste for the epicurean world, a time when I wouldn't give a second of consideration to wearing t-shirts in public. It must have also been a time where I had more money than I knew what to do with, because the inflated price for the frozen packaged deep-fried goods held no significance in my initial memory.
I was taken aback by the elaborately tacky...well, I wouldn't call it décor..
Monkeys, gorillas, orangutans, tropical birds, cellophane plants. Oh, how I wished I was a child so I may appreciate this. There is also a fish tank with actual tropical fish, some so big it looked like swimming tennis racquets.
The wait staff here were all dressed like safari guides you would see on a children's animal program on TVO during the 90's.
Every 15 minutes the entire restaurant would rumble in a make-belief thunderstorm and all the fake animals would vibrate and make the noise of their associated species. Oh what heaven!
But of course, that was my first visit...and that was all that I could remember.
My second visit was, well..the magic was gone. I peered down through my nose at the menu and found myself at a state of sheer disbelief. The only way a sensible person could pay these prices for this food is if their child stared at them with those puppy eyes conjuring great sympathy, or if they were kicking and screaming to no end. What are the food like you ask?
You know when you're grocery shopping and have completed all your essentials, then you find yourself at the frozen section where all the microwavable food which also can be deep fried are placed? It sits behind those glass doors with great smugness, it taunts you and your diet. It knows that you want it, but you shouldn't, and the prices causes you to be even more reluctant about it? That box of 12 dollar chicken wings, those trays of "freshly made" frozen pizza that costs just as much as the restaurant bought ones, and those pre-cooked/pre-seasoned breaded shrimp at 20 dollars a bag? That is what Rainforest Cafe serves! And with no apology, they serve it at double the price!
Butterfly shrimp, cheese bread of every kind, chicken wings priced as if they were imported from the French Riveria and flew here via the Concord.
Wanna impress your kids? Bring them here by all means.
Don't have kids? Get a room at the Ritz.
The food is priced just about the same!
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)