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| - It was my friend Jane J's birthday on the weekend, and she refused to tell any of the guests what we were doing. When we pulled up to her place, our only instructions were to follow behind her, and try to keep up (she drives fast). We wound our way through the no-man's-land between Etobicoke and Mississauga until we ended up in the parking lot of a drab-looking building in an industrial park. The sign read eZone. "Oh," I said to myself, "we're going to an afternoon rave. Good thing I brought some crank."
I was wrong. The eZone is a 30,000 "multi-dimensional sports and entertainment complex" that caters to kids and adults alike. They feature an arcade, billiards, a basketball court, cosmic bowling and Whirlyball. For those not up on their cart-sport hybrids, Whirlyball is a combination of bumper cars, lacrosse and jai alai. You drive bumper cars around a small rink chasing a whiffle ball with scoops -- which you then toss towards something like a basketball net. If this sounds like madness, it is, but it's a helluva lot of fun. More than an afternoon rave, even.
Unfortunately, they are a bit disorganized here. Our host had arranged for laser tag following the Whirlyball, but apparently we had been double-booked with troupe of snot-nosed and surely undeserving kids. (I'm an adult, damnit. I finished UNIVERSITY.) Our guide grumbled something about "not being paid enough to deal with" this nonsense and set us up with some more Whirlyball instead, which we followed up with a rousing game of dodge-ball in the basketball court. I can't say I didn't have fun, so it was a net positive experience for me. I might have felt differently if I was footing the bill for this shindig however. IMHO management should have gone above and beyond to make this up to us. (Free drinks? Cosmic bowling? Handies?)
All in all it was an enjoyable group event. Though the facilities can be so-so (some carts are fussy, and the balls and scoops are super fragile), you'll quickly lose yourself with all the fun you're having. Seems perfect for a corporate gathering or birthday party for the little kid inside you.
Obligatory Title Pun: Get in thE ZONE.
Menu Readability: Warning: their website features one of those heads that appears out of nowhere at talks at you. PLEASE REMOVE THIS.
Need to mention: A point in Whirlyball is called a "whirlic."
What this place teaches me about myself: There is a little kid inside of me. And there is a grumpy old man inside of him. (Matryoshka styles!)
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