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| - Fans of the dramatic misfortunate adventures of RyanC read on...
WikiWiki, whose name creates instant old school rap flashbacks*, catered the recent Tiki Party PBR Concert featuring Fishbone and other cool local acts.
The grilled meat smelled good (although when does grilled meat not) so I stepped up to their little table setup and surveyed a grill full of what looked like flattened chicken thighs and their menu sign which offered a limited selection from their regular menu:
$5 Chicken
$7 Beef Short Ribs
or $7 Meat Combo
-all with white rice and macaroni salad.
I ordered the combo. A few moments later I opened up the styrofoam clamshell the Young Male (YM) staffer handed me. I'd gotten all rice,and there were in fact two small icecream scooper mounds of glutenous grain, but slapped on top of it was one small piece of chicken, perhaps one very small or half a large deboned thigh, and one small strip of short rib, which had less meat than a steroid-addict musclebound lunkhead's got in his roomy banana hammock.
I extended my hand holding the food back towards him and said "that's all I get?"
Making no gesture towards grabbing the tray at all, he replies matter-of-factly, "that 's how much you get."
After spending a few moments politely describing the larger portions I've seen everyone else sporting and asking for either more food or a discount, YM refuses.
Another patron has arrived and is loose on PBR, so is standing way too close for my personal space comfort, but this means he's heard me and YM talking. Let's call him Drunken Dirtbag (DDB). Now, DDB is amused by all of this, but he's also hungry, so he asks YM to rustle him up a Chicken Plate with Mac and rice. YM doesn't even hesitate, but instantly offers DDB my plate of food, saying "You want to buy this? He doesn't want it anymore so you can just pay him"
I've been holding this food in my personal possession for over 5 minutes now, and although i never spit on it or anything, YM doesn't know that! Is this even something allowed by health laws?
DDB chuckles heartily but declines, saying he just wants the $5 chicken plate. "Me too....now", I contribute.
I explain to YM that I will just have to alleviate my feelings of being ripped off by causing him to lose some significant business. I won't lie or make anything up, I'll just show anyone who steps up to order exactly how much food they can expect for their money, and then they can decide if it's worth it, instead of having to be surprised and disappointed like me.
YM: "Go ahead."
Game on, this should be fun. `,8^ )
Actually, it wasn't even working out that well, since more than half of those I showed still wanted to order, but I did get some sympathizers who joined my protest.
My friends were also supportive, letting me be, and checking back in on me after several minutes. I was getting a little tired of holding onto my principals by this point, when OF, sorry that's the Older Female staffer from WikiWiki, came over with 7 single$ fanned out like a hand of cards, excitedly letting me know, "Okay, here. You can go now. Seven dollars. Here." This was not her coming rushing in to save the situation, no, no. This was a good 15 minutes after my initial order now. This was her resigning herself to the fact that I wasn't going to go away, and the night was still young.
I smiled at her, turned around and set my tray on the table, giving YM a snarkily satisfied smirk, and went back to the festivities, proud and bully-ish feeling at the same time.
As far as the restaurant istelf, well, it is run by these grumpy stubborn, non-customer-service oriented folks, apparently so I'm never setting foot in the place, nor ever eating their overpriced, underwhelming food ever again.
*yes, my friend Eric and I really did break dance to that song in 5th and 6th grade.
Jam on it...Jam on it...Jam, Ja-J-J-J-J-Jam on it!
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