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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
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  • Just left this massage parlor with a couple of my girlfriends and for the first time in my life: feel like I need to shower ASAP to hopefully wash away all of the ickiness I feel after this experience. Choosing this massage parlor was completely on an impulse but reading some 5 star reviews on this establishment afterwards to gain some insight or peace if mind I'm pretty much confused. Either there are people who actually like simply being oiled and rubbed down and tossed like a spring salad or we were shit out of luck with the masseuses we were assigned to. The older gentleman I was assigned to was anything but gentle or skilled. You can easily tell that someone has never been taught how to massage or has never actually given a decent massage in their life by how inconsistent their pressure is and how odd and sporadic their "routine" is. 10 mins in the 1 hr session and it was obvious that this guy was untrained nor should he be allowed to touch anyone in this or any setting. This guys pressure went from awkward petting and lazy rubbing to applying all of his body weight and strength in the weirdest of motions and on the most awkward parts of my body. His idea of a foot massage for example was to forcefully jack off each of my toes hard and run a finger nail rapidly back and forth against each toe pad. O.O Even more frustrating and scary were the times when he would apply all of his strength and forcefully pull fists of my skin on each section of my back roughly or when he would hoist and pull my head from the neck up as hard as he could as he was trying to end my life then and snap my neck off clean. NONE of this felt good, therapeutic let alone safe. WARNING: The best part of this whole experience that good or bad, you'll be slapped with a $10 ***MANDATORY*** (in other words a lot of awkward push and shove from the staff to the point of harassment) Tip. Especially lovely to hear and be pressured to when there's absolutely NO SIGN stating that supposed policy at all anywhere. Ironically this was attempted to being coerced of us as I was staring at a stark white and bold "Money back if You're Not Satisfied Guaranteed" sign behind them. Which I pointed out after I lost a bit of my patience when I insisted and decided on ONLY a $5 tip (which I decided upon just to be kind, given the quality of the whole experience) and they decided to run my card anyhow. Needless to say, I'll be exhausting my supply of hot water tonight and using up all of the soap and then some to hopefully wash away the feeling of being scammed and being beat up, tossed and bruised brown and blue like a goddamn overripe banana. =______= I feel dirty, tense, uneasy and not in the least bit relaxed. Never again.
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
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