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| - So, I was squatting down in the office, trying to assemble a marketing banner, when the seat of my slacks blew out. Like, totally ripped open the seam from crack to grundle. My fat ass. In the washroom, I used safety pins to close the seams; the water activated and soaked my left pant leg. Oh, I should mention by this point my slacks were off. Needless to say, I was *not* going out for lunch. Jimmy John's and their fantastic fast delivery saved my bacon...and my dignity.
Feeling especially glum, I ordered what I thought would be a sensible meal: The gargantuan, a bag of chips, pickle and a cookie. Let me tell you, this is more than an ample meal. To the sandwich I added sprouts, cucumbers and hot peppers, all of which swelled this sammie to gigantic, gargantuan proportions! The veggies were fresh, the meat was fresh, the bread was fresh. It all pulled together perfectly. Not unlike my slacks.
Lately I've been on a pickle kick. So, being able to add a pickle to my meal was a ray of sunshine. And JJ's pickles are huge! Brandee even said so when she leaned over my shoulder, saying, "Wow, your pickle really is big!" So, there you go so.
In all honestly, I finished all the meal except roughly half the sandwich. It really was a lot of food. Which made me think that maybe it was my pudgy bottom that was the root cause of my wardrobe malfunction. Meh, ef it!
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