| rev:text
| - "You're gone, gone, gone away
"I watched you disappear
"All that's left is the ghost of you.
"Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
"There's nothing we can do"
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In a Sentence
KÀ is the worst Cirque du Soleil® production in Las Vegas and possibly on planet Earth. (I have been to many of them.)
Quick Review
+ Hopefully no one dies at the KÀ performance you attend. I am not a praying man ....
- KÀ is boring. It will literally put you to sleep (at least it did for me*). (*Detail about "customer experience" : I fell asleep, as a customer.)
- KÀ's story sucks. Give me a Cirque du Soleil with no goddamn storyline if it is going to be this piss poor. It is as of they conspired to present the most confusing, pointless, and uninspiring 'story' just to prove they could make mountains of profit off of shitty storyline.
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If you are a grown adult, you may have to take copious amounts of methamphetamines in order to mitigate the immense amount of boredom that this piss poor, shitfest of a 'storyline' is going to induce in your cerebral cortex. Or simply: be prepared to fall asleep if you are not chewing coca leaves, Inca-style.
Let me be clear: KÀ is terrible. It's terrible that someone died in this extremely shitty production. It's terrible that so many people think this is the greatest Cirque du Soleil that has ever graced Earth. It's terrible that KÀ is so terrible.
Worst Cirque du Soleil I've been to, and for contextualization: I've been to handfuls of performances. Thus far, I have been to: KÀ, The Beatles LOVE, Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour, Mystère,O, Zarkana, Zumanity, and multiple times to several of those.
This is the only one where I fell asleep at. My brain must have been protecting itself from the continued damage it was incurring from KÀ. Pro Tip: protect your own brain and just acquire tickets to something better.
More customer experience so that the morons at Yelp® headquarters can find enough to refrain from removing review:
1. I walked from the parking garage (Free parking at the time) to the interior of the resort. Then, I walked to the box office. There, as part of my customer experience, I waited in a short queue; talked to a young woman at the box office about purchasing tickets with a local's discount, then personally handed her my credit card so she could swipe it and hand my two tickets to KÀ.
2. I walked into the theatre, after being scanned in by the door. I sat down in a seat after being directed to them by a finely dressed usher. I watched and listened to the show from those seats until the conclusion of the production of KÀ for that particular night. To finish the "customer experience," I participated in egress. Participating in egress was the most fulfilling part of my experience.
3. I waited for years to go to all of the Cirque du Soleil productions before beginning to organise my final assessment on each show.
Pro Tip: get tickets to another show. There are much better Cirque du Soleil shows.
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Tourists
Tons and tons and tons of tourists here* -- naturally -- since it's the Las Vegas Strip. (Locals are allergic.)
Kids
Not good for kids*. (*Kids can't appreciate someone dying performing for entertainment.)
Dogs
Not good for dogs*. (*Unless it's French-Canadian.)
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Rating: Two-stars, "Meh. I've experienced better."
In Memoriam
Sarah Guillot-Guyard
1981 - 2013 C.E.
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