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  • **Note, keep in mind this review is written by a thick-around-the-middle white guy that has been eating the same dish of Americanized Chinese food for the past 20 years (a wink and a nod to Victoria's review) So...I'm at the Homewood Suites, and it turns out that although I love the hotel, their food is crap. So I needed some takeout. Stat. I call up and ask for what I have pretty much ordered every time I have ordered Chinese food in the past 20 years (no joke): Sweet and Sour Pork (sauce on side only please), Crab Wontons and pork fried rice. The result? Well, although very nice, the delivery driver couldn't find my hotel...I had to help him out a little. Being that I'd only been a local for about 3 hours...I had to use google maps. Hooray technology. So I received my food. Sweet and Sour pork? Porkballs were perfect. Sauce was...good. But where are my vegetables for the sauce? Five. Count 'em: FIVE. pieces of pineapple. No onion. No bell pepper. Meh. Pork fried rice? A-Ok. Crab Wontons? A fucking joke. The only way they could get less "crab" in them would be to not deliver them. A tiny smear of cream cheese and I'm guessing the light crab flavor may have been from crab...maybe it was seasoning. Hard to say. I half want to give them 2 stars just because of the lame-ass wontons, but...they didn't say *crab puffs*, so I will cut them some slack. Fore warned is now fore armed. Don't expect much from their wontons. All in all? I liked them well enough to order again. The food turned out to be enough for dinner and lunch the next day. (minus the "wontons") If you like the prototypical "Chinee Foo"...give 'em a shot.
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