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| - HOO-AH reader! I'm back with another gut-busting review of a YMCA location. Can your flabby ass handle the shock I'm about to lay all over you? Well I sure hope so, because just reading this review is going to make you lose 10 pounds and up your bench press by 15, so get yourself ready. Don a headband, hike up those sweatpants (elastic waist recommended) and close the door if you need to.
Now, I'm a proud YMCA pass holder. I bought it because you can use them at quite literally any YMCA in the known galaxy and nobody even questions it. You just scan that dutch at the front, "BEEP", get your lock and strut in there like you own the place.
This is my home gym. My mecca. My regular workout spot. This is where I come to get my swell on and where I come to mercilessly punish myself to the point of tears for eating too many toblerones over the Easter break. This is where I curse myself under my breath, strain my ever-growing muscles and get myself in tip top shape for the womenfolk to admire covertly from across the pub as I scarf down wings (which I will later mercilessly punish myself for all over again).
Anyways, let's do some lunges and get right into why I think this place is almost as good as the feeling I get after squatting so much that my gym shorts threaten to rip down the middle:
Let's first focus on the good.
Parking is awesome. I've never NOT gotten a spot. This is a HUGE problem other places (Like the World Health Club in Edgemont), so this is a major plus.
There are a whole lot of different cardio-machines here for kids who don't realize that just running for an hour isn't going to be the best way to lose weight but still want to waste time on the hamster wheel. I warm up on the bikes, ellipticals or treadmills before I get down to my REAL workout. You know, the one that works.
The weight area is well appointed with tons of dumbbells, chains, bars and machines. You can squat on the squat machine, curl on the curl machine, do circuits, whatever. If you want to tear your muscles in a brand new way, you'll find it here somewhere.
The facility is usually pretty clean which is massively important because there' nothing worse than wanting to go get sweaty and massive and having someone else's dirty bandaid sitting on the locker room floor. The folks here seem to understand that toweling off your machine is NOT optional when you are done, which some of the downtown folk are too snobby to get through their skulls. HOO-AH!
For those who like to do a bit of a different workout, the giant puffy medicine balls or kettlebells will not disappoint. These are rarely in use. And if you want you can jump on and off of a stool. Of course, you don't WANT to, but you NEED to. You OUGHT to. So you WILL, unless you're a giant pussy.
Lastly, the stretching area, while a little small, has everything you could need. Medicine balls, rolly crap, mats, elastics.. it's all there.
Now for the bad, and the reason I can't give this place 5 stars just yet:
1. The friggin' junior high crowd. EVERY single time I am here a bunch of moronic junior high kids roll in, clog up the aisles, use equipment the wrong way, talk loudly and all hover around the benches causing a scene and being generally quite stupid.
Someone at the YMCA needs to either explain to these kids how to work out or tell them to piss off. I don't care who it is, sort it out.
2. The bros. So many guys come in there wearing collared shirts and ballcaps. NEWSFLASH: workout gear contains neither hats nor collars. You're doing it wrong and you look like an idiot. And if you're working out in jeans? Get off my planet.
3. The busy-ness. Come here at the wrong time and you'll be hard pressed to find a bench or a spot on the floor to lift. It's only been a problem a few times for me, but that's a few times more often than I'd like. granted, you can't fault a place for being popular - but just know this can be a factor sometimes in the evenings or on Saturday mornings.
4. The heat. At the downtown location, cool air seems to be pumped in much better. Here it can sometimes be sweltering. Come on guys, cool me down, I'm busting my chops trying to get fit over here, the least you can do is blow dry my delicious, chiseled body for me.
5. The genuine lack of space to do kettlebell workouts or giant medicine ball workouts without feeling like you are kind of, sort of in somebody's way. I'm over it though. Work around me, gym rats. I've got a mission to accomplish.
All in all though, this is a solid location. It's not quite better than the downtown one; but it's a really decent place to get fit.
Speaking of which, I'm getting a bit doughy again. Too many weeks off. Sorry world, I'm headed back here on the double.
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