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| - I went to Leo Orchid nail salon for two reasons. First of all, I've been looking for a new nail salon in my neighborhood and secondly I really needed coffee and it is located in the same plaza as the Xtreme Bean. When I entered the salon everyone seemed relatively friendly, and while there were clients in chairs the place was not busy by any means. I had stopped at Magen nails first (they've changed owners and the place was filthy) so I bee lined out of there in hopes of finding some place that had some semblance of sanitation.
Leo Orchid is decorated...interestingly. I'll give them an A for effort because most nail salons are so tragic and 90's looking. I was impressed by their rather "fancy" pedicure chairs, which are adorned with glass bowls and varnished wooden arm rests. The pedicure bowls have whirlpool action so it feels like constant hot water is constantly being circulated which is a really nice touch. Their massage option on the fancy chairs is terrible, and didn't seem to work well. The chairs, despite having some great features are lacking cup holders which made things awkward and inconvenient. I picked a color and sat down, with the intent of relaxing and enjoying the ride. I was immediately robbed of any relaxation by the rather insistent woman preforming my pedicure. "You want this color?" she showed me some terrible bronze monstrosity (if you dig bronze, bully for you, but I'm just not that kind of girl) "No, I picked out OPI red." I was totally stunned by the fact that in a matter of ten seconds she'd been able to lose the color I'd placed on her tool cart. We found the color, and just as I picked up my phone in an attempt to thwart further contact she began badgering me about flowers and rhinestones. I tried to politely refuse her efforts at first. I'm not the flowers and rhinestones type, I like things very classic, very clean. Finally, after approximately two minutes of being pressed for a flower or rhinestone I told her i was sure she'd do a great job, but I think that they're tacky. She acted like I'd slapped her in the face, and continued mumbling about how she would do a great toe flower. Then she asked "What you do?" like maybe I had the stodgiest job in the world and that's the reason I wouldn't want a flower on my toes. I told her I was pre-law at ASU. "Ahhhhh" she said, like I'd summed up the universe for her. I went back to what I hoped was some semblance of silence, playing words with friends because there wasn't a magazine in sight. She struck up a conversation again. This time asking me if I did my own hair. I understand that culturally, somethings are lost in translation and that there are language barriers. I told her the name of my stylist, probably a little more shortly than I could have, and she finally took the hint. She then proceeded to give me the shortest and most painful foot massage ever. I was thankful when it was over, it was like she was pinching my legs instead of rubbing them. Finally, she broke out the hot stones, and my god were they hot. I don't know how she managed to pick them up. Maybe she was seeking revenge because I'd robbed her of her opportunity to prove me wrong about my decision to go flowerless. I looked down and my toes were almost done. My nails really could have used a manicure, so I looked at my toes and decided that maybe, just maybe she'd get it right with my manicure. Wrong. So very, very, wrong. I told her I'd like them shaped "sqoval" my natural nails are really healthy, and were quite long, and already filed, she just needed to even them out. I now have tiny pointy stubs for fingernails. After telling her that she had done my nails unevenly and incorrectly, in the most polite way I possibly could, a gentlemen co-worker got involved. He managed to mess up my nails even more, so there I'm trapped, one hand to the mean flower witch, one hand with the old man in the plaid shirt, feeling completely helpless and in desperate need of escape. I looked at them and said "we're not communicating very well, the manicure was a bad idea. I'd just like to leave now." Even though they were having a $17.99 special, I gave them $25, begged for a pair of paper flip-flops and waited what felt like an eternity for the man to put them on. The pedicure wasn't worth $17.99 and honestly, they probably didn't "deserve" a tip, but I believe in good karma and I just wanted to throw money at the problem and get out of there alive. The two women clients in the shop kept on looking at me like "Are you okay?" "What's going on?"
It was one of the most awkward transactions of my entire life.
The moral of the story, is go ANYWHERE but here. I'd trust the mad doctor from the human centipede before I'd go back to Leo Orchid nails and spa. Seriously. Mani/Pedis should be relaxing, indulgent, and decadent. This was stressful, painful, and distressing. Save your time, money, and patience. I cannot stress this enough, go ANYWHERE but here.
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