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  • Urban's Dictionary defines "raging" as "Partying, getting retarded, getting f***ed up." Pardoning the antediluvian expression for the intellectually challenged, this definition in no way is an accurate description of the service rendered by the obtuse and downright rude individuals at Ragin' Uptown. I traveled across the country for an extremely well-organized party this past weekend, and it was immediately clear that the weakest link was this party planning company. To wit: we were not allowed to drink on the party bus. If one cannot drink on a party bus, it simply becomes a bus. I did not travel across this sweet land of freedom to be told, "no." That is why we hosted our own Amerexit vote 240 years ago. Secondly, the coachmen went to the incorrect marina initially. While I had never been to Charlotte nor its environs before, this was not the tour I had really wanted of the MSA (metropolitan statistical area). Thirdly, upon arrival at the second marina, we were treated to a live performance of the frisking scene from Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic Double Impact 143 times. As a general purveyor of the arts, this may have been welcome had it not infringed further upon the aforementioned "raging." Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the bar service was nothing short of phlegmatic. I waited nearly 40 minutes to be served, being passed over for other more recent arrivals at the bar by the flustered publican at least three times. I assume that is why they work on a boat and not at Label. This is, of course, after the bartenders locked their own keys inside of their register. Suffice to say, I had an amazing time in spite of this collection of unprofessional pettifoggers. Thankfully, we had not used them for a wedding or something of great import, lest we might have missed the event and been woefully underserved after watching the nuptials. This review says nothing of the way they treated the party planner, which is abhorrent from everything I heard and saw with my own eyes. I wish I had more hands so I could give this company four thumbs down, but it seems like the word is already out about the way they do business. Steer clear.
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