| rev:text
| - I came here by myself on the day before Christmas Eve. I'm an old woman with special needs which include: Need beer in order to shop for Christmas presents otherwise I will roll in a ball in the backseat of my car and pretend I was mugged. Also need a clean toilet at shopping Base Camp .
I decided to "Shop Local" for my crotch spawn this year. Fuck malls. Last year I lost my temper in a parking lot and I am ashamed to say it wasn't even at Yorkdale where you can righteously lose your shit cuz it's part of the process and everyone knows it and embraces it as a sport. It was at that lame Eglinton/Vic Park dump where I was circling for 10 minutes for a spot and some beeyutch pulled in seamlessly off Victoria Pk and STOLE my place that I was hovering over. And she had the audacity to yell at me when I tried to claim what was mine. I know you don't care but I still think about it and it gets me worked up in a white rage.
Breathe.
So this year shop local was my plan. Relax. Go take yo'self for a nice lunch. Have a pint. Be kind. Make merry. Ho Ho Ho.
I was excited to try this place because of its name, all devil-like Louis Cifer...Lucifer, like the DeNiro character in the movie Angel Heart, do you remember? When Mickey Rourke was hot and that girl from the Cosby show showed her tits? Okay I IMDB'd this mess and it was spelled Louis Cyphre but same kind of idea so I was expecting some kind of Louisiana swamp-like atmosphere, something sexy and dangerous. But this place not so much. Giant open concept with repurposed barnwood. Sigh and eye roll. It had a big chain vibe with all its merch but! Super clean washrooms so I'm not complaining.
I sat at the bar like a harlot and ordered an IPA. There own brand wasn't hoppy enough (they give samples) so I opted for a Dead Elephant which had more tits to it. I ordered a chicken sandwich which promised to be diabolical in keeping of the theme. I liked the bun. Buns are important. They should be soft and smooth without sesame seeds. I would have like the chicken to be crispier though. There was a sweetness which turned out to be a relish of some sort...could have been more Satanic, but still a good try. Fries: weird and little, like soggy frites. I have mixed feeling for that particular genre of fries, it's hard to do well, they need to be crispy if they are skinny. But I'm not that picky, I will eat all the fries any time any how.
All in all, nice place for lunch or hanging. You can bring an old woman there and she will be happy to sit at the bar and Instagram all the cocktails. Oh! They use wieners to garnish their Caesars, #goodtimes.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)