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  • Service was attentive and friendly. Five stars for smiling, happy-chick waiter. The food however was shit. No wait, let me rephrase that. The food was as if a huge pile 'o shit walked into their kitchen, took a shit on the floor and one of the kitchen staff came hurriedly rushing over, scooped it up and plopped it into five serving dishes, loudly announcing to the servers; "ORDER-UP, TABLE TWELVE!" We were table twelve. Corn and asparagus succotash was dry, with no semblance of anything asparagus, not even the flavor. it was orange. ORANGE for christ's sakes! The creole soup was as if someone in the same kitchen where shit just took a dump, emptied a can of tomato paste into a bowl, threw in some uncooked okra and for effect, one little tiny bay shrimp. Curious. A burger ordered medium arrived table side, drier than a nun's hoo-ha. The house salad dressing so odiferous, it reminded me of my armoire after my dirty boxers have steeped in it for a few days. And the hummus. Before tasting it, my wife said something cute and upbeat, something like; "This has mango in it, it should be delicious." It wasn't. I never tasted mango or any hint of mango. Instead, I felt like Napoleon Dynamite where he tastes onion in the cow's milk. The hummus was overpowered by onion and had a strongly acidic bite. Completely inedible unless you're a hobo or something. Basically, that's five for five, making me long for the use of Yelp pentagrams with which to rate this place instead of stars. Three beers, five appy's, a fruity cocktail of some sort, a friendly server, flat screens mounted so high you'll crane your neck to watch them, and a drunk couple next to us PDA-ing themselves into the record books with the world's longest and sloppiest tongue kiss ever. The couple was pretty entertaining however, as he groped the back-meat sausage-ing out from her way-too-tight sundress. And all this for fifty bucks. I'm never going back. Not unless I die and come back as shit, in which case, I'll use their kitchen to take a dump.
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