About: http://data.yelp.com/Review/id/ZLIxp7_2-AuGxIsJvQTXJA     Goto   Sponge   NotDistinct   Permalink

An Entity of Type : rev:Review, within Data Space : foodie-cloud.org, foodie-cloud.org associated with source document(s)

AttributesValues
type
dateCreated
itemReviewed
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
rev:rating
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
rev:text
  • With a name like East Side Mario's, I had envisioned a dark, humble Italian joint, ideally with herbal vapors emanating from the kitchen and mobsters conspiring in dark corners. I instead was confronted with the grim reality of a brightly-lit eyesore and surmise that a garage sale smeared itself on the walls, leaving a hideous befuddlement of flotsam and jetsam stuck there. Our waiter was reminiscent of the annoying Joe Pesci character in the Lethal Weapon movies, a ceaseless amphetamine fueled chatterbox with no visible Off switch and an unawareness that we simply wanted our orders taken sans the life story. I kept wishing Riggs and Murtaugh would appear to nightstick this character back to the kitchen, or at minimum, someone else's table. Disinclined to be falsely polite, I showed grossly uncharacteristic self-restraint by contorting my mouth into a rictus of artificial congeniality for the sake of my dinner companion. Somehow, we managed to work our orders in edgewise, immediately regretting our lack of judgment in neglecting to order something stronger than imported beer. Vigilant as a hyperactive mongoose, our waiter continued to stop by, interrupt our conversation and inject his unprofessional prattle of humorless jokes, pointless anecdotes and irrelevant real life stories told in real time. Occasionally, our waiter would begin backing away from our table while he was still talking, and I realized that this was his means of propulsion. Orally expelling vast quantities of air is how beings from his planet achieve locomotion. Our pasta dishes were delivered on a torrent of verbiage, and were unmemorable. Powerless to simply talk and enjoy our time together, my date and I rapidly devoured our mediocre meals and requested the bill before our waiter had a chance to assault us with another extensive inane story. Just beyond the door came the sweet siren song of a marvelous land filled with freedom and peace. The parking lot. And, we eventually made it. With the unremarkable food, and service that still makes me wake up screaming, I'd rather eat a bullet than eat at East Side Mario's again. I might be out of line in suggesting that Mario have his decorator and waiter whacked. Might be.
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
rev:reviewer
Faceted Search & Find service v1.16.115 as of Sep 26 2023


Alternative Linked Data Documents: ODE     Content Formats:   [cxml] [csv]     RDF   [text] [turtle] [ld+json] [rdf+json] [rdf+xml]     ODATA   [atom+xml] [odata+json]     Microdata   [microdata+json] [html]    About   
This material is Open Knowledge   W3C Semantic Web Technology [RDF Data] Valid XHTML + RDFa
OpenLink Virtuoso version 07.20.3238 as of Sep 26 2023, on Linux (x86_64-generic_glibc25-linux-gnu), Single-Server Edition (252 GB total memory, 138 GB memory in use)
Data on this page belongs to its respective rights holders.
Virtuoso Faceted Browser Copyright © 2009-2026 OpenLink Software