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| - My wife is mainland Chinese from Guanzhou, so she knows this cuisine inside and out. I took her here for our anniversary yesterday.
We ordered noodles in a hot sauce for appetizer ($8), a duck entree ($20) and a lamb with peppers entree ($20).
The food came quickly--too quickly--for it to have been cooked-to-order.
The noodles were thick, slippery chunks of gelatin, nearly impossible to grab with chopsticks (even for my wife!) and impossible to keep on a spoon (the only utensil they supplied). The gelatinous noodles had been laid to rest in a sauce that wasn't bad, but seemed to be nothing more than grated chili peppers in broth.
Within 5 minutes of ordering, the peppered lamb came out. It consisted of a few thin strips of grayish meat surrounded by onions and peppers in a mystery sauce that was without taste. The meat could have been lamb, it could have been beef, it could have been pork. But whatever it's dim origins, it was tasteless, tough and rubbery.
Have these people not heard that lamb is succulent, laced with delicious veins of fat and, when properly cooked, falls apart with a fork? I guess not.
My wife was appalled and kept saying "You buy me lamb--I can cook better than this!"
The duck came out a few moments later and this was truly a deceptively-named dish. The "duck", such as it was, consisted of a dozen pieces of duck neck bones languishing amongst wilted and sad Chinese cabbage (or something) in the same nondescript sauce as the lamb came in. No other part of the duck was found in this dish, even with diligent searching. No breast, no wings, no thigh, no... nothing. My guess is that the proprietors enjoyed the delightful, fatty duck breast the night before and saved the duck necks for the first hapless guest who ordered duck instead of throwing them out.
But more than this initial misnaming, the dish, which appeared to be piled high with duck meat, in reality had chunks of blood sausage underneath, propping up the duck necks. I don't care for blood sausage at the best of times, but this mass of congealed blood was foul and repelling. Why blood sausage? I do not know. Maybe it was cheap. Maybe it was left over from the proprietors' dinner a few weeks before. Whatever the reason, the plate of "duck" was nothing more than a lie. Even if I liked blood sausage, which I don't, I wouldn't have enjoyed it if I was in the mood for duck ad if duck was what I ordered and if duck was what I paid for.
My wife was disappointed. Me, too.
The sad dessert bar had nothing but a half dozen kinds of fruit in sugar syrup straight out of a Dole can and poor, hardened little cakes that were only waiting for the close of the business day to be put out of their misery.
Summary:
The food was pricey.
Nothing was very tasty.
The entrees were misnamed and/or deceptively arranged.
Nothing was very appetizing when served.
Nothing was yummy when eaten.
That's what I got for my fifty bucks.
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