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| - Dear reader.... Before you decide if this place is great... think about what else you consider great. When you were 17 and you took a date to Olive Garden, okay, you get a pass. BUT, if you ever ever ever went on a date to Outback, or Red Lobster... just stop right now. You will think this place is just amaaaaazing. So come out, enjoy their food and on the way home jump out into traffic. (Please do that behind me, so as not to make me late to work.)
Okay, that said... This place struggles from an identity crisis. Rokerij, who are you appealing to? The fools that think that this is a classy joint because their previous best date was to Applebees? OR are you a really good place? This place should not have a $12 chicken sandwich with fries on the same menu as a $43 steak. Choose one direction and stick with it.
I called up at 6pm on a Saturday, first available reservation was for 9pm. This is a good sign. I take the reservation and then went for a hair cut at Urban Hair... see my other review, they rule.
We get to Rokerij at 830ish. I walk in the door, and apologize to the staff who are clearly at a waiter station. We must have walked in the side door. Whoops! No, thats the front. Wait, what? A friggin computer screen and some silverware, thats the front? No no, it cant be... oh yes. Yes, this is phoenix. Yes, this is the front. Okay, okay... im cool... whatever. We will be downtstairs having a drink.
The bar downstairs is okay. Some 50 yr old dude trying to flirt with a 20something girl. Standard. We have martinis. Not bad, the bartender made it okay. Chopin vodka. He didnt really know what to do with the vermouth, but it was okay.
I chat with my friend, we are sitting on a couch, its pretty fun so far. A server comes down and says, "your table is ready" Cool. We stand up. She goes over and starts talking to the 50yr old male cougar and his little cub. We wait.... finally i walk over to her. AH HEM... should we just go upstairs? She turns "yep, i said it was ready." Oooooh no. You had better walk my ass right up to my table. Nope, i can already tell the service is going to be abysmal.
We walk upstairs. We wait there for almost 5 min. Then i grab a bus boy and in broken espanol, i ask him... neccecitamos una mesa... ya dig? He starts wiping down a table. I ask my date... why the hell do we have reservations again? Then as we are being seated, a hostess girl says, "oh your table is over here" WELLL princess, thanks so much for telling me that 10 min ago.... and we sit.
The waitress comes over and says "what can i get ya?" Excuse me Maude... what is this a diner? Can i get a slice a pie and a glass of manners? I ask her what her name is... i then introduce myself and start to read some of the specials off of the wall. She gets the hint. I hate my decision to come here. We order more martinis... Vodka might make this better.
We order some specials... i get meat, lots of it. The food is very good, though pricey. Im still annoyed that there is a $10 cheeseburger on the menu. Dont get me wrong, i love a PBR and a Burger... just not what i was expecting after all of the reviews i read.
When the time comes to order dessert, i think to myself... seriously, lets just stop at starbucks. We get our check.
The bottom line. This place has good food, but is not a fancy joint. If people said, its a decent bar with good food, i would say: "heck yes, 4 stars, just needs some better service." But they think they are classy, and so does yelp... its not. Frankly, It shouldnt have anything on the menu over $27. The service is friggin dreadful. A half drunk toddler could manage this place better.
That is all...
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