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| - Meeting up with a friend for a yuppie lunch in Town Square, I spotted English's patio and thought "heck, it's a nice day outside and if it's a pub I'm obligated to have a drink or so, despite the early hour," which perfectly suited my agenda.
We ventured into the restaurant which was mostly empty and headed outside. The patio seating area itself is run down, and everything needs a fresh face. Fabric staples go a long way! No matter, I was there for the food. In the way of drinks, my companion ordered a beer and I got a Pimms cup. What arrived was some sort of bastardized version of the cocktail I love so dearly. There were giant fruit chunks in it which were so out of place, and a sparse 3 or so tiny pieces of ice on top that were quickly melting away. The drink wasn't even cold. It took about 15 minutes for our server to reappear at which point I asked if I could get something else instead because I really wasn't digging it. He left the drink which I hadn't touched on the table (which means I'm still paying for it) and brought me their house brew which he described as "like Budweiser." He wasn't wrong- it was exactly like Budweiser but with that sort of rusty taste that I associate with English beers. Not a fan of that either.
So the drinks? Total bust. But the food was even worse. We ordered two appetizers which took 45min to come out. These appetizers were a cheese dip, and smoked salmon crostinis. How could it have taken that long?!
The cheese dip hit the table with a thick layer of skin over the top- already unappetizing. The grilled bread that came with it was tasty, but the cheese itself was gross. Bitter from the ale and bell peppers with no real cheesiness.. You could tell this was mostly a cornstarch concoction.
The smoked salmon was inedible to me. The "crostinis" were just sliced bread, not toasted or baked. The salmon was described on the menu as creamy, so I figured it was Atlantic, but it was ridiculously orange with no fat content at all, and was rather stiff. There was a thin slice of rolled cucumber on top which was supposed to up the presentation, but was just awkward as there was so way to functionally eat that.
Our server didn't check on us again for a long time, and by the time he did we were ready for the check. We paid full price for everything even though it was all left untouched. Luckily since we were in Town Square it was just a hop away from other dining options.
AVOID THIS ESTABLISHMENT!
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