| rev:text
| - This complete disaster of an event could only be worse if locusts fell out of the sky.
First off, it's not about the money, the ticket was $88, a few hands at the blackjack table. The value of the 'promise' was certainly worth the price of admission...Lucky Rice promised much, but delivered little. It's like taking home the hot girl from the bar and when you're finally home, she turns out of be a tranny. That, my friends, was Lucky-Tranny-Rice.
Since the event price ($88) was conceived to be a play on Chinese numerology (8 sounds like "fortune" in Chinese)... I will reciprocate with four (sounds like "death") examples of this utter failure:
1. Lines - I don't mind waiting in line, but when you're standing 30-60 minutes in a line for a scrap of food that can be consumed in 2-3 bites... that's ridiculous. At one point, with so many lines spiraling, it was impossible to find where a line started or ended. The scene was comical, replace the hooker outfits with some pajamas and the douchey sunglasses with some flip-flops... and suddenly you're transported to an U.N. food distribution center in a Southeast Asian country.
2. Booths - The event was scheduled from 8pm-11pm, but booths started to shut down at 9pm. By 10pm, 75% of the food booths were closed. Have you ever seen an Asian household run out of food? I didn't think so. In the Asian culture, food is so important that instead of saying hello, we ask "Have you eaten?" Running out of food is such a loss-of-face in the Asian culture, the host might as well dig up your dead ancestor and take a dump on his rotting head... in front of your entire family.
3. Venue - The layout of the event was inefficient. Un'Corked had a great layout, reminiscent of Mickey Mouse's head, main pool area with two off shoots. LuckyRice's layout, hampered by the infinite lines, is reminiscent of the drawings of a five-year old serial killer... it makes sense in his mind, but not to anyone who believes the sky is blue. Furthermore, in an event this size, having an 8 1/2 x 11 placard on a table is about as informative as the National Enquirer on actual news. Guests are left to wander around aimlessly in search of food.
4. Vendors - The attendees are already delirious from standing in line, to add insult to injury, when the vendors encouraged line cutting or took time out to socialize, I suddenly understood the rage felt by the employees of the United States Postal Service. How dare these knuckleheads give preferential treatment to people who brings them alcohol! How dare they stop cooking and flirt when the line is literally wrapped around two-tiers of a serial killers mind! If that wasn't enough, when you finally got your food, it wasn't all that great.
This event, touted as some of the best Asian street food, turned out to be the finest DMV experience I've ever had.
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