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| - Update: OK. So, I still haven't returned to Olive & Ivy except to fetch a bottle of water for my wife during a nice stroll around the canal. But I run by the place almost every morning and started to think I was being unfair - and, perhaps, a little juvenile, in my review. Forget about the Grilled Cheese Incident. But the rest of it - snooty wait staff attitude, included - should be given the weight you deem appropriate. Cheers.
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It's two pieces of bread and some cheese ... maybe some butter. It's a grilled cheese, of course, and, it turns out, you can't get one at this place. That may not be surprising given the upscale nature of Olive & Ivy. But it's on the menu. The menu it's on just happens to be in the adjoining marketplace. But what does that matter when we're talking about a lousy grilled cheese sandwich. If that were only it, though.
Not long ago, I joined my wife and a friend for a few drinks and what likely would have transitioned into dinner. We sat in the bar area after being initially and erroneously told that food was unavailable on their fabulous patio. Our bar server told us otherwise and we were soon relaxing next to a roaring blaze outside. Problem One: Solved. Unfortunately, it was replaced by Problem Two: Our server.
As it turns out, the young lady apparently didn't think highly of us sitting on the patio. After all, she had to schlep 20 or 25 extra yards to help us. We tried to make it up to her with a little self-deprecating humor, offering that she "probably hated us for sitting" outside but we were good tippers. She grimaced and forced out a laugh. Whatever. What do you want for $15 glasses of wine and $8 beers? Speaking of beer ... Problem Three: Beer selection.
Olive & Ivy has, apparently, thousands of bottles of wine. I mean, the bottles reach the ceiling and keep going. Very impressive ... if you drink wine. I, as you may know, do not. I drink beer. And I'm not embarrassed to say so. In fact, I pretty much drink one beer --- Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. That they did not have. Well, they had it in the marketplace but not on the beverage list. (Yes, I did consider buying the six pack of Sierra in the marketplace and bringing it outside to the patio. It was only $2.50 a beer. But like I said, this was a pretty upscale place.)
There were the usual suspects: Coors or Corona or whatever. But then there were some other, European offerings, one which I chose and enjoyed. Nevertheless, it continues to amaze me that restaurateurs spend tens of thousands --- maybe even hundreds of thousands --- of dollars on wine inventory and the like, but can't manage to get the distributor to throw in an extra couple of cases of acceptable beer. A shame, to be sure. Anyway, Problem Three: Solved, more or less. But this is where it all devolves. So, back to Problem Two: Our server.
We enjoyed drinks and a terrific flatbread appetizer before finally succumbing to the server's constant barrage of dinner offerings. The girls placed their orders without challenge. Me? I wanted a grilled cheese. So, I asked for one. It seemed simple enough. The server shot back that a grilled cheese likely would not be made, but she would check. In her absence and all things about the night considered, we decided that if these folks who can put together a grilled flat iron steak with caramelized shallots couldn't manage to slap together two pieces of bread and some cheese we didn't want any of it.
Our server came back a few minutes later and happily informed us that a grilled cheese was not available. As agreed, we asked for the check. "I am so glad I didn't put that order in," she declared with glee. An appropriate tip ensued and we were on our way out.
Before leaving, though, we stopped to ask about the availability of the grilled cheese in the marketplace. It was not available, a manger-type-looking person said, because the materials had been put away for the day. I'm wondering, of course, why at the end of the afternoon the folks at Olive & Ivy need to file away bread and cheese in some far-flung locker that is apparently on a sort of time lock until the next day's lunch. I also was curious as to why a restaurant --- fancy or otherwise --- would throw away what would have been an extra $100 in sales because of a grilled cheese. Say what you will about our tactics. But in the end, all of our problems came to an end when we walked out the half-broken front door.
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