Well, that was easy. Someone gave my friend the link to sign up for Uber (I already had one). Our ride to the airport arrived within 5 minutes, his car was air-conditioned to the appropriate frostiness to withstand the 114 degree temperatures outside, he was very polite and chatty and told us a little about Uber works, we arrived safely and well ahead of our scheduled departure at the airport, and because of the $25 sign-up bonus, it only cost us $6 including tip for two people. YAY UBER.