| rev:text
| - In retrospect, it strikes me that the Cleverest of Koi swim away from this place.
Wasted Potential: A Matter of Style over Substance ----
It sure looked OK from a distance. I walked in open minded and excited and left disappointed, somewhat offended, and with a mild ache in my wallet. The atmosphere is pleasant at first, then you start to feel the desperate pretension creep in.
This is the type of place that's just trying too hard to stand out, but fails to excel at anything. I'm all for fusion, but it's like this place knows the words to the song they're trying to sing you, but they can't carry the tune.
The Pork Belly Steamed Bun was OK. But the frozen ones I get 12 to a bag for $7.99 from Lee Lee's are substantially better.
I also got the Zesty Noodles. "Bulkogi" is listed as an ingredient. Now, I'm really familiar with BULGOGI, having lived with a Korean family during 9th and 10th grades. Hell, I've been making my own bulgogi from scratch since I was 15. While waiting for my Zesty Noodles, I Googled Clever Koi's mystery spelling of the iconic Korean BBQ fare. I found it is a Finnish derivation.
Well, my noodle dish arrived. There was little Bulgogi about what Clever Koi served me, Finnish or not. And wow, the Kimchi was God awful.
Waiting on the check... one look at the Clever Koi website helped me understand Clever Koi better. See, I don't buy into the pretentious Restaurant Rock Star thing. Why are there pictures of the owners on the top, most important, page of the site? How does that help the customer? Ostentatious, the whole front page... osty osty osty... just thick with it.
I really need the substance. Atmosphere only gets me in the door. I just couldn't give a damn less about the style, iffin ya ain't got the substance. We over tipped. Man, I needed something to feel good about as I walked out.
I left thinking, I would have been better off grabbing some Panda Express To-Go, pullin' a couple chairs up close to the Clever patio area so's to sack in on the pleasant Koi atmosphere, and then wippin' out a vintage Zippo lighter an' burning 3 or 4 Twenties, looking all G wit my styrofoam container and chopsticks. Bah, that don't factor in no alcohol. Hmm. Close, but the idea needs work.
{In and of itself, the previous paragraph is a fine example of style over substance.}
So Imma gonna swim away. Where my Koi at?
OK, enough fun. Want good Asian food and/or and interesting cultural experience? There's a whole world of discovery awaiting you all up and down Dobson Road. For Korean try Hodori or Koreatown. Seriously, just go explore.
To the owners/chefs: Thailand, Korea, China, Vietnam, Japan, and Indo-China deserve representation from you. Please go try some places along Dobson's Little Asia. Immersing yourselves in the origins of what you're trying to exploit may lead you to more successful end results with your fusion dishes. Knowing how and where to start will serve you well.
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