UPDATE:
Paolo, the very charming owner, contacted me after reading my review. He was very concerned that I wasn't happy with my hair and begged me to let him fix it, free of charge. He didn't seem at all concerned with the negative review, just that I wasn't happy with my hair.
He just fixed it for me - tons of blonde highlights. I LOVE IT. I AM A BOMBSHELL.
Thank you, Paolo! I'll be back for this exact colour in the future.