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| - Warning: This is a review for people who enjoy reading reviews. TL;DR: Find another pizza joint.
Now for the rest of you, gather round. I aim to tell you precisely why you should travel a little further and spend a little more for your delightful pie.
I am happy to spend a little more on dinner if I'm receiving high-quality ingredients or a great customer experience. Unfortunately, I've never encountered either at the Muir Field Road location in Fitchburg, WI. It's a chain pizza joint - so I'm not expecting a loyal staff to sweep me off my feet, nor to be bowled over by the restaurant's ambiance. But it would be nice to simply receive what I ordered.
Apparently in contrast to many people on this site, I don't relish giving bad reviews. If I am dissatisfied with food or service, I will contact a manager during my experience. It's really the most effective way to correct a mistake, and often the restaurant will reward your earnest feedback with a complimentary menu item or a guaranteed discount for trying them again in the future. We in the service industry appreciate the chance to make things right before the customer leaves. Bad reviews circulate faster and longer than good ones.
Given that pedantic aside, I have to point out that I rarely give a place one try and then consider them verboten. My first experience with Glass Nickel Fitchburg occurred five years ago, mainly because my apartment was down the street. Pizza tends to be my lazy delivery choice. My partner and I were in the mood for calzones and thrilled that Glass Nickel was so close. As a vegetarian, she was pretty nonplussed to find her Spinach and Cheese Calzone was filled with sausage. Mine was too. Ok...maybe we got someone else's order. Not a big deal. I returned the calzones to the store, and the young counter staff seemed confused. I don't blame her, but there was no manager on site. Ok, that happens sometimes as well. I asked if I could leave a message for the manager. Her phlegmatic expression told me this act would be futile. I left and enjoyed pizza and calzones at various locations throughout the Madison area for a few years.
As months passed, I did reach a level unabashed laziness, and simply wanted Glass Nickel to deliver food to my face. I tried again with a calzone. Perhaps for old times' sake. I mentioned the episode from years back, asking if I could speak to a manager, hoping to at least ensure that my order was correct sometime, if not to receive some discount or incentive to reconsider Glass Nickel for my pizza dollars. Of course, I'm not sure with whom I spoke on the phone, but her sympathy and enthusiasm led me to believe that she could have a manager arrange a kind of discount, and this time, I would surely receive my Spinach and Cheese Calzone (I'm an omnivore, but I decided to mimic my partner's order for mythopoetical reasons). At this point, I'm sure you know what happened next: the calzone (and salad) was delivered; there was no discount; the calzone was filled with sausage and cheese.
I actually ate that one, and to Glass Nickel Fitchburg's credit, it was a very fairly executed calzone. I enjoyed it! The Greek Salad was also fine. I'm not contacting the Zagat Guide to inform them, but it was very fine chain pizza joint food. Just...not quite what I ordered. Again. It may have been my fault for bringing up the fated "sausage calzone" incident; that could have been transcribed into my order and misread in the kitchen. Who knows? I didn't bother contacting management this time. It had been a long day - my eyes were heavy, and my belly was full.
So now we fast forward to a few months ago - 12 November 2017, to be exact (I know, because I took a photo this time). What caused me to think of Glass Nickel Fitchburg on Muir Field Road? A gambler's love of adventure? A service industry hack's belief that times and staff will change and they deserved another chance? A sadomasochist's penchant for a finger to flame?
Nope. Just lazy, and it was cold out, and I didn't want to go far. I also really wanted a calzone. Damn you, my love of calzones!
So with rheumy sclera and baited breath, I peruse the Glass Nickel Fitchburg menu. I have an admittedly unusual hankering for the flavors of chicken cordon bleu - the crispy yet juicy chicken, the tender prosciutto, the tang of dijon mustard balanced by honey, the coup de grace of melted Swiss cheese to form an exquisite culinary bliss.
You know, but in calzone form. I was simply delighted to see that Glass Nickel Fitchburg offered both a sandwich and a pizza with similar ingredients to the famous dish. Was there a way for me to satiate my desire for this flavor profile while also being able to walk around holding it in my hand? I swallowed my breath, lowered my expectations, and called the Nickel.
A manager authorized my monstrosity. I salivated for a honey mustard-cheese sauce.
It arrived cold, doughy, and w/ a packet of honey mustard. Try Sal's Tomato Pies.
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