| rev:text
| - I can't figure this restaurant out. They do a lot of things right like provide an amazing array of artisanal (but pricey!) beers on draft and luxe cheeses in their fondue but much of that goes wasted on the douchey guys drinking Heineken in bottles and the skanky girls in skimpy outfits who're on air diets. Normally, I'm not too affected by the other diners at a restaurant but they're so egregiously obnoxious at Bier Markt, you can't help but notice them like the stench of feces in a crowded airplane cabin.
Our Yelp group came here for the excessively and unnecessarily umlauted Fondüe Feastivül[1]. Each portion of fondue ($17-19) was enough to fill a tea cup; sufficient for two people max, not 3-4 as we were told pre-event. They come in impressive cast iron pots which ought to keep the cheese warm but the fondue arrived cold and the teensy tea light candles they provided did little to raise their temperature.
The accompanying dipping ingredients did not do justice to the cheese mixture either; stale cubes of baguette, risotto cakes that tasted suspiciously fishy, ice-cold asparagus pieces so thin they looked like green ropes of licorice which kept slipping through the tines of the fondue fork. It was as disappointing as finding out on your honeymoon night that your partner is impotent and he forgot the Viagra.
To make matters worse, the service was spotty and pompous. Requests for water went ignored, our dessert fondue arrived before they cleared our cheese fondue. And when I politely asked one waitress if they could replace our cheese-riddled plates and forks so we could enjoy the final course, her response: "Only if you say please." Huh? OK, PLEASE do your job properly and PLEASE drop the shitty attitude. Please and thank you.
As it turned out the chocolate fondue again arrived cold and the caramel fondue was so sweet I felt a toothache come on at first bite. Not worth their $15- and $16-price tags, especially considering the pitifully under-ripe winter strawberries they came with. (They also forgot to light our votives for the burners.)
Fondue is meant to be a cozy, communal meal that brings people together but with Bier Markt's weird dance-club vibe, unpleasantry of the staff, and clientele that's cheesier than the emmental and raclette fondue, I couldn't wait to bolt from the premises and take a shower to wipe off the layer of slime that had accumülated on me. Ügh.
======================================
[1] Add to the list of things that my eyes roll real hard http://www.yelp.ca/topic/toronto-my-eyes-roll-real-hard-when-people
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)