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| - Attention all business owners: Playing KYOT in your establishment may result in the automatic deduction of one star. The aural assault of elevator music redux is an offensive to every fiber of my being. It penetrates my ear balls and leaves me with a slight tic. I am not the only person suffering from this affliction. Consider yourself warned.
Other than blaring tunes to haunt my soul, the Chicago Gyro place is a rock solid choice for a mash up of Mediterranean and Chicago dawgs. The menu is gimungous and really pretty intimidating. Luckily I can keep chipping away at it by ordering something different each time, because the food really is pretty inexpensive. It'll run you about six bucks for a gyro meal deal that comes with fries and a drink, and around eight for the gyro plate that comes with hummus and other deliciousness.
My only beef, aside from the irrational hatred of Kaaay-Whhhy-Oooooh-Teeee smoooooth jaaaazz, is that the gyros are a little on the dry side and underdressed for my liking. They are very generous with the meat here and the pitas are top notch, but they only slap, like, a single tomato slice down, and then load that madre up with onions and a tiny squirt of sauce along the bottom. Now I appreciate a well packed gyro. By all means, meat it up, but squirt a little of that shit on the top and side of the pita to lubricate my meat hole. (Don't go there.) Cucumbers would also be a pleasant addition, sirs and madams. (Again, don't go there.)
Anyhoodle, I'm doling out a solid three stars. You fill my tummy and leave me quite satisfied.
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