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| - Wow. My soul hurts. I miss the Paradise.
From the half-hearted attempt at beautifying prepackaged food to the complete abandonment of functionality, this place is a step below the corner QuikTrip. No ice. No clean tables. No available highchairs. Table service from a Walker straight out of your favorite post-apocalyptic cable drama.
The macaroni is made-to-order out of an envelope. The salad materials look like they were prepared by a tool from the 'As Seen On TV' store. The chicken, when it was fresh, was part of a juggling act, it seems. And all of this is served at your table by a girl who can only be described as walking through life as though she were in locked-in syndrome, mobile but trapped in her own living hell.
What about the layout, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. If you want to walk in the most logical door, you end up sidestepping around people's table in the tiny dining room. Then you arrive at the counter, where queuing theory is more like chaos theory. Once you place your order, you go sit down. Then you get back up and push your way into a little corner right next to where the food is served. Maybe you get to the fountains, maybe not. Then you push your way back out of the throng and shuffle around more cramped tables until you sit at one of the 2 clean tables and crunch white salad, tasteless cold cuts and bland bread.
Did you ever make it out to Paradise? Over by Grimaldi's and the excellent greek place, Cyprus Grill? Yeah, well that was pretty good food, and a nice, relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. This place, however, makes me want to spit bile. It would taste better than what they are serving.
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