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| - At first glance, this place seems like a nice place to live. The buildings are attractive, the grounds have lots of grass and palm trees, and the apartments themselves are spacious. The management is polite if ditzy. However, appearances can be deceiving, and if you move here, it is quite possible that one day you will find yourself swimming in a thick, murky sea of shit wondering how the fuck you got yourself into this mess.
First, let's talk maintenance. Regardless of the issue, you'll have to make multiple maintenance requests to get anything done, and even then it's entirely possible that your toilet will continue to overflow if you so much as look at it and your air conditioner will continue to leak just as you pass under it. The work orders will be closed in spite of the issues not being fixed, so obviously the maintenance guys did their jobs, right? So enjoy stepping in your own piss as you step out of the shower!
Now, let's consider noise. The walls are paper-thin, so you can enjoy your neighbors phone conversations (or their rough sex) without ever leaving the comfort of your bed. The windows are single-pane, too, so you'll also be awakened by your drunken neighbors struggling to climb the stairs at 3 AM. But, really, the noise that will slowly drive you insane is from the never-ending traffic on Lindsay Road. Thanks to nothing but a dwarf-sized "wall" (more on that below) separating the complex from a heavily-traveled street, there is virtually no noise insulation--unlike the houses across the street that are cushioned from the noise by an eight-foot cinderblock wall. At night, it will be like you're listening to the ocean--except that it's a constant stream of cars with custom exhaust pipes (some of which are piloted by the kind of asshole that blares his music with the windows down while pounding on the horn for no goddamn reason at all). Sweet dreams!
Security? Sure, this place is secure! It's a gated community, after all--except when the gate isn't actually working, which can be for weeks at a time. There is no real reason to have a gate, though, because that "wall" that I mentioned above--the one that "surrounds" the complex--is probably less than three feet tall and isn't actually contiguous in places. Thieves, rapists, murderers... they're all welcome here as long as they can hop over The Wall. Don't worry, though, they'll still have to park in visitor parking!
The worst thing about this place, though--the thing that will make you want to stick your finger down your throat and throw up in an effort to rid your body of the toxicity you were exposed to while living here--is the company that manages the property. The name of the company is AMC LLC, and they will attempt to extract from you every dollar you have like a wrinkly old vampire feeding on the jugular of a newborn baby. When your initial lease term is up, you can go month-to-month... for a price. A very steep price. In fact, it's actually a steeper price than is specified in the rental agreement you signed. As if by magic, you will not only be expected to pay the $100 month-to-month fee, but you will also be expected to pay "market rate" rent. Does the term "market rate" appear anywhere in your lease? No, no it does not. Does that matter? Hell no! Give them your damn checkbook!
But wait! There's more! When you move out, you'll be sent a Collection Letter (scary, right?) that says that, in spite of all of the time and sweat you spent cleaning the place before moving out, you're still being charged $300! That's right: you'll be charged for repainting the walls, shampooing the carpets, and cleaning the apartment--despite the fact that you already cleaned everything! BONUS: this will be the first time that you'll be made aware of this practice because, in spite of a clause the lease stating that you won't be charged any of these fees provided that there are no damages beyond normal wear and tear and no additional cleaning of your apartment was necessary, the management will suddenly develop horrendous eyesight and will be unable to read this particular clause. It's like watching a really bad magician try to pull off a card trick. Entertaining! Expensive! Oh, wait....
Seriously, though, do yourself a favor: unless you're a masochist looking to unnecessarily punish yourself by interacting with people who seem to have no collective conscience whatsoever, don't even drive by this place. Unless it's late at night. In that case, drive slowly by, with your windows rolled down and your music cranked up--and leaning on your horn the entire way.
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