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| - Six times I've been here since this maze of a club has opened. In case you were wondering: (1) R3hab, (2) Hardwell, (3) Calvin Harris, (4) Hardwell (again!), (5) Oliver Heldens, (6) Tiƫsto. I swear every time I come here, my ability to stand this club decreases more and more to the point that I can't even. In case that didn't come through, I REALLY CAN'T EVEN.
If you wanted to spend a truckload of money on how to create the most confusing, annoying, and quite frankly physically dangerous club in the world, come to Hakkasan! Narrow corridors that people can barely maneuver through. Bar areas with low ceilings that literally have no space to mingle without feeling claustrophobia. A dance floor where I have to warn everyone that's never been to Hakkasan to watch their stuff because that dance floor is notorious for valuables getting jacked. And I said it last time and I'll say it again, NO OUTSIDE AREA! Is this a club or is this an Egyptian pharoah's tomb? Because it sure seems like a tomb, that's for sure. And those DAMN STAIRS! I wonder how many twisted/broken ankles those stairs have accounted for...not to mention people falling flat on their asses. Hell, I've been here enough times and I've still almost fell on my ass last time I was here.
Even if I were to consent to coming back here again, I have 100% zero desire to even go on that dance floor anymore. Unless, of course, I want to feel like a sardine packed in a can...because that is obviously very very very comfortable! The only somewhat bearable part of this club is the 5th floor balcony level because it's the only spot that even has some semblance of breathing room. All I know is this...the last time I came here, I rolled with 20 people and NONE OF THEM want to come back. Sample size notwithstanding...yeah, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out where I'm going with this. Let's not even get started on how "friendly" all the people that work there are.
I gave Hakkasan many shots, only because my favorite artists were exclusive to here. And now that Sir Calvin is now at Omnia too, well, the only reason I have left to come here is Mr. van der Corput (because he's my fave) OR if it's Thursday (because it ain't packed to ridiculous levels). Otherwise, I ain't gon deal anymore man. I only hope that Omnia fixes all the problems Hakkasan has, because this club needs a total makeover ASAP.
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