| rev:text
| - I've been to Unwined several times now, so I feel like I have a pretty good sense of what it's about. If I could give it 2.5 stars, I would. It's between "meh" and "ok."
On my first visit, shortly after this place opened, I just came in to take a look and check out the bar. And I'll admit it, I have pretty high standards when it comes to drinks, but the woman who was bartending that night was awful. She acted like I was inconveniencing her when I ordered a Manhattan and couldn't tell me a thing about the "tincutures" used in the house cocktails (more on that later). So I ordered something simpler. However, because I haven't seen her working at the bar since that visit, I won't waste any more time on her.
The second time I visited, it was about 8:30 pm on a Tuesday night, and my friend and I were hungry. So we decided to give Unwined's food a try. The place was empty except for a couple drinking beer at the end of the bar, but I could see two employees by the register behind the bar, so we approached to ask if the kitchen was still open. No joke, it took almost five minutes before anyone acknowledged us. I know that the manager (I found out later who he was) saw us, but he said nothing until he was done at the register. Then he turned around and said, "Ok, what can we get you? Sorry for the wait, but I had to deal with *that*" (indicating the other employee). I found this man's aggrieved attitude pretty unprofessional, but the kitchen was open, and we were starved. So.
Our meal was a surprisingly good experience--my friend's Big Tukee burger was perfectly prepared and delicious. I gambled and ordered the Smoked Salmon cakes (I am really, really particular about my seafood). They were also very good. On this visit, I also decided to take a look at the wine menu; after all, Unwined refers to itself as "Ahwatukee's premier wine bar." I was underwhelmed. But given the lack of good restaurants in the foothills area, it was a relief to know the food was good, even if the menu is very limited. So I knew I'd be back another time to try their other offerings.
So flash forward to mid-December (four weeks ago). I accompanied some friends to Unwined for dinner. They'd never been before, so I recommended the burger and the salmon cakes, for sure. I decided to try the warm kale salad. Except for the salmon cakes, the meal was a bust. The burgers were way overcooked and dry (which made me embarrassed and disappointed for recommending them), and the kale salad made us laugh. It wasn't "warm" in the least, but the funny part was how enormous the pieces of kale were. I mean huge. As happens sadly often in restaurants, the salad appeared to be made by someone who doesn't even eat kale. My friends and I agreed that the vinaigrette was tasty, but I had to cut up all of the leaves up so I'd have a chance of getting one in my mouth. Honestly, I felt silly. We had fun catching up with one another, but none of our party is ready to go running back to Unwined to eat.
Remember my comment about the bad bartender and the tinctures? Now I get to the part about Unwined that really, really bugs me. First of all, they have no business trying to sell craft cocktails, because as far as I can tell, this place does not employ a qualified bartender. I am crazy about top-notch cocktails (Hello, Citizen Public House!), but I'm equally happy with a simple glass of Woodford. Unwined needs to either stick to the basics or invest in a real bartender--not the manager making weird Old Fashioneds, and whatever you do, don't order the Sazerac. It is downright terrible.
Now, I'm not exactly an oenophile, but I do know quite a bit about wine, the characteristics of varietals, etc. Let me just put it this way: the wine list here is unimaginative. For example, the whites by the glass--there are 14 of them BUT it's so pedestrian and formulaic. 3 cheap sparklers, 3 chardonnays, 3 sauvignon blancs, 2 pinot grigios. You get the picture. As another reviewer pointed out, the manager likes to put on a big show about "educating" his patrons about wine. Maybe he thinks we're kindergartners? *sigh* Even the reds were nothing to write home about. I can appreciate owners not wanting to lose money on uncorking an expensive bottle for what may only be one or two pours, but the selections here are either $5, $7 or $8, with one red at $9/glass. I love a great, inexpensive find as much as the next person, but every wine I've tried so far has been just ok, which is what I would expect, given these prices. There's nothing wrong with "ok," but this place is pretending to be something it's not. The owners need to go hang out and take notes at places like Postino, Cheuvront, Kazimierz, 5th and Wine, Vintage 95, Terroir Wine Pub (especially the latter, since it's very close in spirit to Unwined), and so on. Until then, I fear that Unwined's reach will continue to exceed its grasp.
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