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  • DEAR MEN. How do you know when you've grown up? When you're mid conversation with a pretty girl (age approx. 19-22) nursing a cranberry vodka and giving you MAD attitude over your socks and sandals combo. Obviously this girl isn't MOM-approved so you haughtily exit the conversation with "EXSQUEEZE ME, these crocs were courtesy of Winners. Buzz off, I have a mortgage. Talk to me when your net worth isn't in the red." Bro, way to bail on that drink you (may/may not) have promised her. Because a MAN has to stick to a budget. And for all my FISCALLY responsible brothers out there, this review is for you. You deserve your share of this world's protein for a great price. And Illichmanns is where you get it. I almost walked by this shop because it looked like a grim motorcycle shop on the outside. Only the tiny sign that said "sausages" caught my eye and I decided to walk in. Illichmanns' aisles are filled with european fares. Sauerkraut to mustard, they have enough to fill that recipe list you have for your special German/Austrian dinner party. But my focus was strictly on picking up meat. After all I am doing my weekly food shopping and have to space out my meals for the week. Now I'm not good with gauging things by weight. I've often been used to buying spolumbos by half pound and having my $20 budget on meat eaten up by 4-5 links of sausages. The best I could do was my compartmentalized trips to Costco to score wholesale meats, but there weren't nearly as good as your deli/butcher style sources and are often packed with preservatives. When I asked for half a kilo I was worried I would be only getting a small amount. WRONG! I got enough meat the size of half my forearm. I was happy, oh boy I was happy. Their chorizos are amazing. These meaty links are wonderfully spiced and a great freezer meat staple. I've already used up the kilo of chorizo's (all under $15) to kick up meals for myself and guests. Nothing wins over a room like pizza chorizo. PIZZA RIZO! I can't wait to try their Bavarian sausages. I might just even cook this for a very special person...MYSELF. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to sort my penny and dime jar and count the hairs on my chest. A kilo of meat for anything under $15 deserves it's fives stars.
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