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| - Dear god I'm fat.
OK. That's not true. In fact, I've lost weight since moving out to this here Valley of the Sun. But that doesn't mean Oregano's doesn't try to suck me into obesity every dang time I'm here. Warning: This review contains lots of yelling, because the food is INSANE.
But first I want to address my one complaint: The bathroom. WHY! Why must there only be one stall?! This place is on a wait circa 5:00 p.m. every night (including week nights), why must I almost pee my pants waiting for the one stall to be vacated?!!? And it's stuffy in there too. Wah.
(Oh yeah, another review talks about this too: WTF is up with the flies in the main room? There's always one buzzing around our table. The place seems clean so...I dunno.)
ONTO THE FOOD.
It's stupid. The portions, how tasty it is, all of it. It's just dumb. Favorites include:
-Deep dish Sproccoli pizza: Are you kidding me?! I could barely finish one piece, and it's not like I didn't want to eat more. I was just STUFFED. The thin crust ain't nothin' to sneeze at, either. And make sure they take the bucket-o-parm and sprinkle it over your pie. YUM.
-Guacatony: Why. Why do they need to over-stuff the large ramekin holding the Italian-herb-laced guacamole so it spills all over the crispy perfection of cheesy-toasty "chips"?! WHY?! Because they want me to weigh a deuce, that's why!!!!!
-The veggie sandwich: WHAT WAS THIS MONSTROSITY?! PILES of grilled veggies and cheese (Provolone AND goat cheese, who's counting?), basil, and since I don't dig aioli all that much I ordered a side of marinara to go with it for dipping. I am a sandwich bandit and I could only deal with half of it.
-Pesto Penne Bake: How is this? And why is this? Pesto pasta and sundried tomatoes and cheese BAKED INTO A BREAD BOWL WHY.
-Boyfriend's favorite salad on Earth is the Pablo Picasso salad. Also, a "small" version of this is roughly the size of a football field. I'm afraid of the regular-sized one. I fear it.
-The lunch "slice" (2 big slices) with their awesome house salad (homemade Italian dressing = savior) is a STEAL.
I'm faint just typing this all out. My love of Oregano's truly exhausts me. I think I need to make a trip soon to regain strength.
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