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| - Dude, you MUST get drunk here for happy hour at least once. It's an absolute shit show, from the consumables to the ambiance. Drinks are erroneously cheap, which is amazing and they have a decent liquor selection for whatever your tastes are. They have what they call food, about three choices for HH. Those offerings, and everything else on the menu, is targeted toward people who love Applebees, Nascar, Pizza Hut's newest abomination, vintage Disney and Warner Bros clothes - you get the idea. The act of getting blitzed in their bar is not super horrible at first, as long as you're not hungry. It's the random children running through the bar that offer a stark call back to reality. They cause you to drift your eyes past the blind Tinder dates and CPS violations. Eventually, you'll need to pee, that's when the real magic happens. Stumbling past the video games and future leaders of America is an achievement onto itself. Seriously, they should give out an award for dodging the kids and machines without incident. Onto the restrooms, but only the Men's bathroom. (The temptation to ask about the women's bathroom was overshadowed by the fear of being branded a sexual predator. Seriously, not joking.) The Men's has the typical urinals and toilets with doors. There are four sinks, in sets of two at either side of the entrance. All sinks were manned by two tuxed-out sink attendants, at 5:30pm on a Wednesday. One man per two sinks, that's right - there's no getting away. They were nice enough, displaying a solid selection of bootleg Drakkar and the like. As I was walking out I began to wonder, do the kids tip in tokens? What type of reaction would occur if a 10 year old grabbed a cigarette, a splash of imitation Armani cologne and dropped a 5-spot in the tip jar? These are questions I pose to you, oh great Yelp reader. If this post teaches you anything, it's that sometimes when life brings you what looks like boneless chicken wings, you take another shot of Jameson (on special).
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