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| - And now ladies and gentlemen... the single worst establishment I've ever had the pleasure of eating at. Heart Attack Grill has ZERO redeeming qualities. There is not a single reason for me to even get close to giving this place anything more than one star. This is one place that makes me wish Yelp would allow a zero or negative star rating.
Now, to preface this review... I'm not an idiot... I know that this place is "The Heart Attack Grill" so I went in prepared for greasy and unhealthy food but hoped it'd be fun and even though unhealthy, maybe taste alright. Whoa, was I ever wrong to hope for that. They group their burgers by how many patties there are... starting out with the Single Bypass burger (one pattie) and going up to the Quadruple Bypass burger (four patties). Being a little more on the conservative end, I went with the Single Bypass burger and a side order of fries. My Dad came along for the fun and he got the same... for the purposes of this review I should tell you that my Dad is a machine, he can eat... and he doesn't mind a little grease.
Right as they bring our food out, I immediately get intimidated. The patty of the burger was dripping with fat and the meat used was such low quality (extremely high fat/meat ratio) that the patty didn't even appear to be beef... it had this whitish tint to it that you'd have to see to believe. I've never seen such an unhealthy piece of beef in my life... it doesn't help that they cook it in pure lard either. This was beyond unhealthy, it was disgusting. I feel like if you're making something blatantly unhealthy there should at least be a method to the madness; there should be some attempt at wanting to make it actually taste good (it is food by the way). It just seemed like they were pushing the grease and lard to the absolute maximum just to see how far they can take it. Well I'm not impressed... I took one bite and was instantly grossed out, I actually almost threw up it was so bad. My Dad who can hang with the best of 'em was able to stomach about three bites until he could no longer continue. The second we left the place I turned to my Dad and said "that's the worst single piece of food I've ever put in my mouth". I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'd rather eat a dried up piece of dog shit between two buns than a Heart Attack Grill burger.
The only thing worse than the food is the tacky and over the top waitresses. They wander around in little nurses outfits often times with their underwear quite visible, and their whole bar area has a slanted mirror to actually encourage you to look up their skirts. That'd be fine and all, except I didn't want to look up these skirts. If you're going to have your wait staff dress sexy, you better make sure they're worth looking at in the first place. These girls were a little rough around the edges... most of them had that 'ex-stripper' look; and I could have sworn that one of them had bullet wounds on her stomach... that's not a joke.
P.S. I actually dry heaved while writing this review just thinking about my fat drenched burger.
DO NOT GO HERE.
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