Hoping to find a Swensons-esque burger place actually in the 216 area code, I went to Beardens once (one time too many). Gross.
The burger literally disintegrated under the sheer weight of its grease; the shoddy bun didn't help either. The place in general looked like it had last been cleaned prior to my birth.
Not getting food poisoning was a serious concern at the time, although in Bearden's defense I did not actually receive that gift.
It sure was cheap though!