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  • Want to know how to make an awesome doughnut taste less awesome? Have someone annoy the hell out of you first. All I wanted was a doughnut with custard inside. Big. Damn. Deal. After expressing this desire to the server, she told me they didn't have any. I asked if there was anything close to a custard doughnut. Then, she changed her mind and told me they did actually have one, with chocolate on top. I noticed a sign that said "custard claw" on it, and inquired about the doughnut behind it. After failing to understand me for the better part of a minute, she said "Oh yeah," and put it into a bag. Lady, you have one job. Come on. I drive off and take a bite of the doughnut. NO CUSTARD. ABORT MISSION. I make a sharp U-turn into the drive through, hand the lady my partially-eaten doughnut, and say, "Give me custard or give me death." She asks if I want cream or Jell-O filling. "I guess Jell-O filling?" I say, feeling a tad uneasy that they fill their doughnuts with instant Jell-O pudding. She tells me there's only the chocolate and custard kind, but then I notice a little picture of coconut custard doughnut on the drive-through window. When I ask about that, she says, "Oh, that's like the chocolate one, only it's coconut instead." "So... it's a different doughnut with custard in it." I say. "Yes," she replies. "I'll take it." YOU HAD ONE JOB. It was as if she had a personal vendetta against me that manifested in the form of preventing me from having custard. The doughnut was flaky, light, delicious and brimming with custard. Guess what? All I can taste is the flavor of irritated. Next time, I'll just treat myself to a pack of Jell-O pudding.
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