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| - Oh patties. I could have swore that I've written numerous reviews for you! Have I been so drunk that even days later I am confused as to what I'm doing? That I thought I wrote something for you but really I hadn't?
It totally is possible... and for that I hope that you forgive me.
With that said, I'm now over 30 and Patties and her insanity seem less friendly to me these days. For granted, I like a good drunk and it seems that every time I happen to grace Scottsdale for a night out I end up here - normally dead last and with a cab scraping me off the sidewalk in the front... or maybe the back alley.
Pattie, being 30 is an odd age I tell you. You are too damned old to hang out with the wipper-snapper 20 yr olds who can drink 5 days in a row and then go to work fully functioning but not old enough to be yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off your lawn. You start getting disgusted with the music on the radio these days and yearn for the good old music. You'll occasionally try to have that big drinking night at the club only to realize you are starting to feel more like a chaperon than a party goer. But you really aren't ready to stay home and have wine tasting parties where everyone's bedtime is 8:00pm, so your party ends at 7:30pm.
Where do I fit in!?
And I suppose you feel the same, Pattie. You are in beautiful Scottsdale where money is abundant. You are in the city where the reputation is that all the girls are bitches and all the guys are douchebags and that everything has a triple-dollar-sign price tag on it. But you... you aren't any of that. You may live surrounded by luxury but you don't act it. You serve drinks in plastic cups for pete's sake. You let people smoke... "inside" just because the roof is a tin roof and it can be considered "outside." How can anyone not love that? When we step into your house, Pattie, we are in your world. Forget the lavish nature just outside your doors - walk in, grab a stool, and let that stool keep you standing up straight. If you are at this point, it was a good night and Pattie will love you even when you come looking like that. Heck, get on the dance floor and feel the music. The music loves you too. Hey, maybe you play pool better when you are drunk - well Pattie will let you play a round of that too.
Pattie, I know you know this - but you know that everyone loves you, right? Even though your signature scent is old cigarettes, spilled beer, and pissed on bathroom floors. You are THE dive bar in Scottsdale. Despite your shortcomings, you have one of the best atmospheres - you have the most forgiving crowds, you have the music playing that just makes you want to figure out what twerking is all about, and you have some of the best bartenders in town.
With all that said, nobody comes here to be seen. There are no photographers that will put your picture up on some website. The only pictures you will have from here are from your friends when you make bad decisions - the best decisions.
Can't wait to see you again Pattie, regardless of whether I am 20, 30, or 50. Nobody will notice how old I am anyways!
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