Should I start with the electrical plug hanging from the wall? Maybe the hair dryer that was decoration only.
Perhaps I should start with the restaurant breakfast (15% off if you bring the room key they gave you that works about 15% of the time, which makes it pretty appropriate). The pancakes were so bland I couldn't help wondering if they'd been made with old towels and bedsheets from the hotel. The "ice cream" they gave my kids was A) expired, B) freezer-burnt, & C) wholly sentient.
I strongly recommend going here and sleeping in the parking lot.