| rev:text
| - This place is a nightmare! Where do I even begin? I need to make a list.
Atmosphere- Imagine a world (ahem waiting room) full of sick people coughing, babies crying...I'm sorry screaming, and an overall grungy vibe and you've got this place. Nasty people (customers and employees), nasty decor (or lack there of) and extremely nasty carpet. I would sooner walk on fire barefooted that in this shit hole. It's ironic to have blood drawn here because if you didn't have anything wrong with you before you probably do now! LOL
Service...actually I wouldn't call it "service" exactly- It's also run pretty inefficiently, it worked out for my benefit (truth be told) so I shouldn't complain but it would super suck to be at the other end of it. You make an appointment online (you are unable to call to set-up an appointment...odd) mine was for 5:15 but I arrived at 4:30 and made it known that I was early but would wait. When you arrive the blonde wicked witch at the front desk asks...no demands "Are you fasting?" which clearly isn't communicated well to doctors that refer patients here because I'd be a rich woman if I earned a dollar off of each person that responded with "What?" when prompted with that question...so you can guess that 90% of the time the answer was "no." Remarkably, they were seen anyway. What the hell? I didn't eat for 8 hours for nothing? So...is that just like a psychological experiment they are running on the side? Again, WHAT THE HELL??? But anyway, it worked out in my favor because it put me ahead of everyone else in the line (if looks could kill). Again, the blonde woman working up at the front is a heinous bitch! Clearly EVERYONE is an idiot besides her.
Experience? Job? I give up naming these categories- Then, I got with my phlebotomist who was a chipper, smiling and portly (I know, how horrible that I refer to her this way but it's relevant, I promise) woman named Edyen? I can't remember but something like that. She greeted me and tried to make nice conversation by telling me she liked my pants. Odd since they're yoga pants but I smiled and thanked her...she's trying right? She proceeded to tell me that I looked sexy in them. Again, odd but I thanked her and smiled. She then asked me where I got them? What brand they were? How much did they cost? OK OK OK! There's small talk and then there's....whatever the hell this shit is! She finally ends by asking What size are they? WHAT? RUDE! And creepy! Like what, you gonna ask to try them on next? Eww! To which I replied (my civility and patience now running on empty) "I don't know. Probably a medium." To which she responds with. "You fit into a medium?" As if she didn't believe me. I nodded, feeling humiliated and outraged. To which she ends with "Good for you, sexy!" What.the.hell.did.she.just.say? The irony is that I came here for blood work to start up on HCG again to lose the extra weight I've gained. What a dumb bitch! LOL but whatevs because apparently I'm also...sexy? Wait. What? While I'm reeling in an existential crisis of "Am I sexy or fat?" She pokes me with the needle to which I yelp (no pun intended) and she says "See, I found a weak spot!" I had previously told her that my vein's were hard to find because they were pretty deep under my skin. Again, as the blood was flowing I was left wondering if the "weak spot" she was referring to was in fact my vein or her passive aggressive backward compliment? Insult? GAH! Even still I'm left with a weird spiral of what am I? FAT OR SEXY? FAT OR SEXY? FAT OR SEXY?
Amazingly, this woman asked me to fill out a survey for her! To quote her "If you have something positive to say, fill it out. If not, just leave it alone." Are you trying to intimidate me ma'am? I know, now I'm just acting crazy but this whole situation felt like psychological warfare! Anyway, this place feels like a layer of a modern day version of Dante's Inferno. It's actually so terrible, I kind of invite my fellow Yelpers to check it because it's hard to believe places like this actually exist in today's Information Age.
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