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| - I really didn't want to write this review.
I'm staying with a friend and it's walking distance from this place. I figured this would be my go-to breakfast place. When I asked her what the deal was she paused, and in her Canadian way, said, "You know...there's always a problem." That sounded cryptic but not awful. So we went.
We walked in at about 11AM on a Sunday and it was, predictably, busy. We gave our name and were told there was a 15 minute wait. After about five minutes I saw one open counter seat and one that seemed like you could sit at it if someone moved a cake tray. I brought it up and the waitress asked the somewhat frustrated seeming managed and they cleared the space for us. We sat down. We ordered food and I ordered a coffee. She ordered a latte. We got our drinks. Without spoons. And without sugar or milk. We had to grab it from another diner. When we asked about the spoons I was told "we don't have any spoons right now."
That should have been the ballgame. I should have called it right there. I didn't.
And then we waited. For like 35 minutes. And it never came. And with kitchen staff so close to us that I could see how well they'd done their nails, the only coffee refill I got was when I flagged someone down to ask for it. The only time anyone checked on us it was...odd. At some point the hostess, about 30 minutes after we first got there, called our name for our table. Which A) says that the wait was a little longer than 15 minutes and B) Even when she seated us, she kept us on the list. So that was a little weird right?
But we called it.
Eventually, after seeing people who came in after us get served THEIR food, I asked for our food to go. And while I can't prove it, I'm pretty sure our order got lost. Maybe it's because our seats were in a no man's land where cake dishes usually are. Or because they thought we were still on the seated list. Or maybe our order just went to wherever the spoons disappeared to. But about 10 minutes after we asked for our order then gave it to us in bags and we left. We walked the block or so back. We opened up the bags and...my order was wrong. The steak wasn't medium rare and I asked for the porky beans and got the potatoes instead.
Look this math is simple: the amount of time you wait for food should be directly correlated to how good it is. If you go to a greasy spoon diner with mediocre food but it takes three minutes to get in front of you? Then that quality is fine. That's fair and appropriate. Conversely, if you wait an hour for a meal, then it better taste like something that makes Elvis want to come come back from the dead for seconds. And when food IS that good? Then the wait is fine.
The Homeway's food is mildly better than greasy spoon quality. And if I'd gotten it in 15 or 20 minutes? I'd have been fine with it. But they make you wait forever for it. I mean if I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure, with us directly in front of them at a counter, they forgot about us. And when we got the order it was wrong. Which makes this breakfast math a bad equation.
Let me be clear. They're all very pleasant. And the place is cheerful and bright. And it is convenient. And the pancakes were tasty. But unless you've got an hour or so to kill to wait for them, maybe try somewhere else.
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