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  • Magnolia's Cafe: The staff here looks bored and lost. The hostess disappears for 10 minutes in between seating people. The servers range from helpful to unbelievably incompetent. They all have that look in their eyes like they hate their life and want to die. The food tastes like Denny's, but worse. Clearly the cooks hate their life too. One star. Chicago Brewing Company: Freshly made pizzas that somehow transform into microwavable Mama Celestes. The calamari is good and the jumbo shrimp cocktail does in fact contain jumbo shrimp. The bartenders are friendly. Three stars. Queens Coffee and Deli: Coffee, sandwiches, gelato. The coffee dude made us a cappuccino at 12:05 a.m. even though they close at midnight. Four stars. Hugo's Cellar: A world away from the tacky casino upstairs, Hugo's Cellar is an old-style steakhouse where they give your ladyfriend a rose and toss the salad before your eyes. The portions are huge and the meat is tasty. Complimentary cone of sorbet between salad and entree, and complimentary white-chocolate-dipped figs and strawberries for dessert. Five stars. That makes 3.25 stars. I'm not rounding up.
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