| rev:text
| - Oh Sylvia, I'm sorry. It's been a good ride but somewhere along the line things started to head south. I think it was around the time they went from an order at the front counter joint to full service restaurant type place a few years back. I wanna say it pains me (in more ways than one but I'll get to that later) to write this review because this place was like home back in the day.
Last Sunday my family met there to celebrate my mom's 61st bday. It was her choice so I thought to myself "hmmmmm ok...I probably was never going back there but I guess I am at least one more time. Maybe they turned it around.....hmmm."
We sat down & received the chips and salsa. The mild salsa was bland & tasted like tomato juice. The chips are tiny, bout half a normal chip. I ordered an horchata but they said they didn't have any. Sacrilege! Oh well, as long as my ma is happy, just order something & be done with it. I had the My Nana's red chile. It was ok. Rice & beans too. We ate, exchanged pleasantries...etc & bounced. About 4 hours later I was relaxing with my thoughts & my woman on the sofa, watching some mind numbing show when I felt a burning sensation in the pit of my belly.
I shifted my weight, changed positions & just plain tried to ignore the feeling but after ten minutes it was inevitable so I made my way to the bathroom. Everything seemed in slo-mo as I made my way down the hallway. I think I even heard my dog mumble 'dead man walking'.
I broke out into a sweat on the pot. Twas then I knew this would be no ordinary deuce session. The burning had now turned into a solar flare as I white knuckled the nearby countertop to brace myself. I shook my head to shed the beads of sweat from my forehead when I suddenly remembered my training...well not my training but my lady's - 'Puuuuuush!' I heard a voice tell me. 'Puuuuuuushhh!' So I did. I never knew a human body could make that noise. Remember me the next time you're at a coffee shop & order a cappuccino. That noise. You know you're in a bad place when you seriously think about calling out for help from your significant other, knowing from the time they enter that room things will never be the same for you two. I managed to get passed round one, battered but not beaten. Things went on for about another 30 minutes or so when I finally had emerged from the darkness.
An hour later or so my ma text me saying it didn't agree with her either. I didn't ask her for more details nor did I tell her my little version of hell. To be fair, other family members said they were ok. Perhaps it was just something we had in our meals?
You might be thinking that I can't handle the heat. Let me assure you this is not the case my friend. I love spicy food. I'd eat molten lava had it any nutritional value.
Judging by the dried up grime on the menus, I'm just gonna chalk it up to staff issues? Management? Laziness? I don't know, I don't work there. I just know I won't be back & that sucks because while we were there our server was working very hard. Vaya con dios Sylvia's.
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