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| - I used to think the Puro Cigar Bar was a real cool spot, but when I went there with a dozen-plus friends last Saturday night (St. Patrick's Day), my fondness for the place diminished very quickly. My clan and I were carousing at Shamrockfest when, at around 11:00 pm or so, we decided to walk over to the Puro Cigar Bar for a few ales and 'gars. The problems began as soon as we tried to enter bar.
I think the modus operandi for the henchmen working the door that night must've been: "Do not let anyone in who appears to be drunk". Or maybe it was this: "Our goal is to kick out as many drunk Irishmen as we can." Well, here is some news for the Gestapo doormen at the Puro - appearances and assumptions can be deceiving, and things are not always as they seem. Yes, it was St. Patrick's Day; as such, people were drinking and having a festive time, sure. But anyone trying to enter the Puro that eve was immediately eyeballed and scrutinized by the bouncers; and these bouncers, mind you, really didn't know their asses from their elbows, as I soon will illustrate.
To begin with, two of my friends were not allowed in at all. Another two were initially denied by one doorman, but when they tried again later, a different bouncer let them in. The Puro henchman like to operate with a lot of arbitrariness, I guess. Subsequently, these latter two friends were asked to leave once the henchmen talked amongst themselves and realized their error. And why were my friends asked to leave, I'm wondering? What the &%$#@!!! did they do?! None of us were after being loud; we weren't unruly; we weren't boisterous; we weren't stumbling over tables; we weren't barfing anywhere; none of us were falling asleep at the bar; we weren't spilling drinks; we were just chilling out and having fun. Yet, for all of that, the priggish henchmen, the bouncers, assumed a few of my friends were too drunk to be in the bar that night. Idiots!
They also kicked out my brother. He just flew in from back east not more than three hours prior, and when he joined us at the festival, he quaffed a grand total of 2 beers there. The Puro doormen let him in but, for reasons that defy the imagination, one of the bouncers approached my brother later and told him he had to leave. Total assholes.
Ironically enough, I was deep in my cups that night; I was all lickered up, and soused to the gills. But did the Puro henchman deny me entry to the bar? No. Did those imperious, niggling doormen ask me to leave? No. But my brother, who had a mere two pints the whole evening, he had to go. Suffice it to say, the employees who work the door at Puro have no idea what the @#&%!!*X! they are doing. Next Saint Patrick's Day, the Puro Cigar Bar should just place a breathalyzer outside the front door - maybe put a sign on it that says: "Only those who blow under the legal limit may enter". It sounds ridiculous, but it's no more ridiculous than having a couple of ineffectual bouncers at the door deciding who is too drunk to enter or not.
As I have mentioned, my clan of friends did nothing to warrant an ousting from this bar. The employees working the door that night obviously had some preconceived notions regarding who they would let in or not. Since it was Saint Patrick's Day, the doormen doubtless assumed most people would try to enter the Puro in a highly inebriated state - especially after the festival was over. Such as it were, these doormen, these amateurs, determined who would or who would not enter the bar based solely upon their own viewpoints and half-assed assumptions. In short, last Saturday, five of my friends were expelled from the Puro Cigar Bar because of the inept conjectures of a few idiotic bouncers.
We decided not to let the Puro Cigar Bar ruin the rest of our night. Since some of us were booted out and barred from entering the place, it took us awhile to reorganize and get everyone together again (thanks, Puro)! But once our clan did regroup, we all went to the San Tan Brewery. At the San Tan, we weren't judged, probed, watched, or analyzed. Not one of us was barred from entering the brewery, and none of us got kicked out of there either. Why? Because we were doing nothing wrong, that's why.
To hell with the Puro Cigar Bar. Because of their misguided, wrongful assumptions about my coterie of friends, they lost 15 customers. None of us aim to go back there again.
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