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  • My Italian family back in Pittsburgh would smack me upside the head if I were to bring them here and then call this an "Italian Festival." Seriously, all I can hear in my head is my Uncle Vince saying, "What the hell is the matter with you??!" When you walk in, you are greeted by Republican candidates, real estate agents, and several booths where you can "Spin the Wheel! Everyone is a Winner!" Once you get past the gauntlet, you find yourself amongst the food. So we started to make a lap around the booths. I was hoping to find some Italian restaurants from town I could try and maybe grab a slice of pizza. Instead, I found nothing. Either it was not vegetarian or had been sitting in the hot sun for far too long. Ummmmm now what? We made another lap. That's when I noticed that none of the booths had a business name on them. They all just said "Italian Sausage" or "Calamari" or "Pizza." So this is just a traveling festival and nothing they sell here is local? LAME. I finally found a local caterer and wound up getting a $5 Caprese salad that came in a Dixie cup with a slice of garlic bread. I'm still starving!! I then broke down and went to one of the generic booths selling pizza. They wanted $7 for a slice that looked like it had been sitting out for the last two hours. No thanks. I got an ice cream cone and decided I had enough. I'm out. On the way out we walked past some circus side shows that involved snakes and monkeys. I knew I would get too depressed looking at them so I kept walking by. And then I proceeded to get super depressed watching the poor ponies being forced to walk in circles in the heat without any kids even riding them... or the sheep covered in wool that looked like they were going to pass out from the heat..... Then there went someone selling used hot tubs....and crappy jewelry....and ugly t-shirts.... Oh, and did I mention that they also sold Mexican, Greek, and Japanese food here? There goes my Uncle Vince again.... So in short: I have been to Greek, Lebanese, Indonesian, and Hawaiian festivals in this town. They all represent their cultures well and are made up of small businesses or churches. The people running this mess apparently think that Italians only eat sausage and old pizza and like to buy used hot tubs. Needless to say, I will not be returning.
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