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  • How long can a true American wait for a perfect burger? 40 minutes? 2 hours? Lifetime? Speaking hyperbolically - probably even a lifetime is not all that long for devoted patrons of the certain restaurant. "Melt" in Lakewood was overcrowded with people eager to invest hard-earned cash into the clogging arteries on a regular Tuesday night. (I would not even dare to go there on a weekend - it must be an apocalyptic scene!). I am not a health-conscious freak who is going to lecture you about cholesterol level. I am well-known for waking up in the middle of the night, sleep-walking to the fridge, making myself a triple-decker of a sandwich and then devouring it in bed (waking up in the morning holding salami in my hand is particularly traumatic to my conscious and some witnesses of such an act). But this is how I prefer to violate my code of healthy eating: fast, half-sedated, drunk, or if I am really going for it - the unhealthiness needs to be disguised with fancy salads, exotic drinks or some ethnic cuisines. So waiting for the cheeseburger loaded with fried eggs and French fries loaded with lard in a lobby of a restaurant that reminds you of Greyhound station at the best was somewhat torturous for me. I thought about how much time will it take me to burn my future meal on the treadmill, how I will lie about my weight to my mother again, how she won't believe me, about the Guess jeans I bought on sale and will fit in them only 10 pounds lighter....Anyway waiting was fun as you see. Don't get me wrong. My cheeseburger was as good as they come, French fries were French, and pear cider was delicious. But by the time we got a table I (already delirious from hunger) ordered an appetizer (Huge Mistake), went to the bathroom 4 times ( 2 tall glasses of cider!), and by the time my cheeseburger arrived I took two bites and was ready to fall asleep. Down Side: Long wait, 2 hours on the treadmill to burn it off, long wait. Up Side: He will love you even one meal and 10 pounds later
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