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| - Some of the amenities offered by San Tropez Apartment Homes:
- Inadequate and congested parking lot, forcing you or your visitors to drive around the parking lot endlessly, or park in the strip mall parking lot next door instead, and thus,
- Other residents parking in your assigned parking spot
Also
- The first day you move in, loose handles on everything, a broken shower head, half of the light bulbs burnt out or missing, leaking sink, dripping faucet, broken closet door, no filter in your AC unit, and no screen door on your patio (don't worry, the screen door will only take 2 months to arrive)
- AC so loud you can't watch TV while it is running
- A bathroom fan that never shuts off because it's wired to the light switch
For an extra monthly fee, you can receive "Upgraded appliances", which will include the loudest dishwasher you have ever heard in the history of ever and a refrigerator with broken drawers that will never be replaced the entire year you live there. Apparently, at San Tropez, "upgraded appliance" is a synonym for "appliance that is the color black".
Other things you can expect while living at San Tropez:
- Drug parties at the community pool (including cocaine!) and people smoking weed everywhere all the time throughout the complex
- Loud parties on weekends and holidays
- Alcoholics stumbling from the crappy dive bar next door
- Random water shutoffs in the middle of the day, at least a dozen times over the course of a year. Sometimes you will get an email beforehand, sometimes not (better check your email EVERY NIGHT before bed though, just in case). Hope you don't work nights and expect to take a shower in the afternoon before work. Or brush your teeth. Or flush the toilet. Who needs water in their apartment anyway?
- Transients trying to punch you while you are running on the jogging path
If you are being referred to San Tropez by a current resident, they can get a $200 bonus. It will only take 3 months and multiple phone calls and paper signings for them to get it. You're welcome!
Enjoy your stay!
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