| rev:text
| - A place that can be accurately summed up as "a hot mess".
And I'm not talking about the women who frequent it.
The Yelp reviews weren't kidding when they spoke about the potential pitfalls of this place. The end result of my visit to REBEL was a frustrating experience with moments of levity and fun.
I came here for a friend's birthday bash this evening and was a bit taken aback by the atmosphere. The outside of the venue is beautiful and offers some of the best views of the city you'll find anywhere. The inside is a total meat party where you'll struggle to do anything as you try to crowd your way past groups of rowdy university girls grinding on top of partitions, the standard drunks and a security staff that oscillates between downright passivity and hypersensitive aggression.
The best part of REBEL is the patio. Despite being a smokers' zone, you can actually hear yourself talk outside, and there's plenty of amusement to be had with some of the guests. I had people ask me for lighters, randomly sit down with my friend and I, ask me to take a picture of them making out and other assorted insanity. It's a club dominated by teens, which can go either way depending on how charitable you feel. You'll just as soon find yourself surrounded by people blowing smoke in your face as you will strike up a conversation with a friendly guard or group.
The VIP zone is a nightmare. I had automatic access due to being on my friend's VIP list, but it doesn't have any discernible benefits as far as I can tell. Security is very lax, with one guard wandering away for several minutes. Hostesses patrol the place with flashing lights that will likely induce epilepsy in those that are sensitive to it, while large groups showboat for the benefit of the plebs who have to stand on the sidelines and hog tables.
For that matter, so is the front-door access. After being subjected to a security scan at the VIP line that left me feeling like she should have asked me to dinner first, the staffers don't know how to enforce their lists. You either have to be in by 11 PM or give up any hope of trying, because the whole place turns into a zoo. A friend of mine wasn't given the VIP benefits I specifically had received coming in, and we decided to ditch the whole thing altogether after seeing what a nightmare the crowd was becoming. The unruly and poorly-planned out traffic issue has also been discussed ad nauseum in other reviews.
The venue itself is huge, sprawling and beautiful, but I feel that this beauty isn't appreciated by those who visit. It hasn't shaken off the roots of past clubs like Guvernment. You can try to be upscale all you want, but when someone who prides himself on getting into red carpet events walks into this place in a suit and feels overdressed, you know there's a problem.
REBEL is so far out of the way that it feels tonally and geographically removed from the action, despite being an "upscale" club.
Don't think I'd be back again, despite having a few good things to say about it. I'm more likely to check out the Cabana Pool Bar which is much more open and relaxed.
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