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| - Dear Master An,
You said you would speak to the employee who told me that your business could work with my son when I brought him in to verify this ahead of time. That doesn't make any difference to my son at this point, but I wonder what you will say to your employee? There is no admirable defense for how you treated us at the class we attended. Your actions told an eight year old boy that he is not good enough, and you taught other parents by your example that it is ok to be cruel to kids with special needs. You taught his fellow classmates how to be exclusionary instead of thoughtful. The way you handled this situation was with the exact opposite of the values you claim to instill.
There were only five other students. My son was so happy to wear the new uniform, and to be a part of the group. Neither they nor their parents seemed to mind, as of course they shouldn't, that he was not participating in the same way as the others. It was only his first lesson. It was new and exciting and my son was thrilled to attempt what the other kids were doing. For half the activities, he didn't do a bad job. He was proud of himself, he was exercising and having fun. He repeated your words when the class repeated them, he watched the examples and did better than I hoped following them. And then, half way through the lesson, instead of helping him a little you abruptly escorted him off the mat with no explanation to him, and asked me to keep him out. He was disappointed and confused. I didn't have the heart to explain to him at that moment what was happening when he watched the class continue without him and kept asking me when it would be his turn to go back in. He watched you take a few seconds here and there to individually help the other students, and didn't know why he couldn't have the same attention. ( actually, the awful thing is, I think he did know )
I waited for the class to end to speak with you but you had nothing to say except to ask that we leave. I thought perhaps that you might suggest some private lessons for awhile, or at least show a little boy some compassion and acknowledge him. It is true that he was excited and had trouble staying in his place, but you could have controlled that in due time. It might take my son longer but he is capable and will respond well when the teacher is good. We have enough problems in life, Master An. I am not in the habit of adding to them by going out of my way to put my child in situations he cannot hope to achieve in. He is smart enough and able enough to learn this sport to the best of his particular ability, and do it without ruining the experience of class members. From what I read about Taekwondo, that is in fact the aim: competing with and improving ones' self. At the least, he was not such a disruption that he should have been kicked out of the lesson midstream. Ethically, you should not have rejected him at all, but common decency should have made you at least wait until the lesson was over. Instead you made a spectacle that hurt his feelings and mortified me.
The words you advertise on your website are: respect, courtesy, honesty, courage, integrity, focus, perseverance. Everyone deserves those things but you did not exemplify any of that to us or the people watching. You claim to teach good life skills and discipline but it seems that what you really want is for kids to come in excelling at them already. I have read about martial arts since this incident.There is much literature to explain how wonderfully beneficial it can be to kids with special needs. You either have not read it or simply don't want to have to work with these types of kids. I don't know. It's an unfortunate disservice to all kids if you choose not to - typical or special needs. In any event, the way you treated my child was offensive, mean, and unnecessary.
So how will you instruct your employees to tell other parents that their kids are not welcome? How do you justify it to yourself? Anyone can learn respect if you are capable of teaching it.
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