Dear McDonald's: I want to love you like a fine sturdy pup loves his master. But you let me down.
I went in which was a mistake because the parking lot is wild and you can die in it. I ordered a ghetto mac which is a double cheese burger with big mac sauce. You order the ghetto mac when you don't want to pay for the real big mac and you want one just the same. All you don't get is salad and the middle bun both which is girlie anyhow.
They didn't know what a ghetto mac was and they tried to jack me for the full tilt on a big mac and I got pissy and caused a scene and the manager gave me the ghetto mac and I ate on it standing right there and ordered another with my mouth full. I did not get good customer service but I did get another ghetto mac and all y'all sons a' bitches in line waiting for me to finish my meal ought to stand down and give a gentleman his personal space.
I just want my personal space.
My private area.
Anyway, go there and get you a ghetto mac since it tastes great. Sweet Tea is too sweet and you might pass out on Route 8 heading down into the sour Cuyahoga Heights area. Whatever. Like automobile accidents don't happen all the time.
McDonald's, I wanted to have a conversational epistolary review but I forgot and now I am not cool like all the other people who start their reviews addressing the place they are reviewing. I can live with the guilt since this review is great anyway.