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| - This place makes Sizzler taste like Alinea. And no, I am not effing kidding.
This place is 27 shades of nasty. I knew going in that it would not be the best place ever, and my husband and I came here for the lulz. But ohhhhh nooooo....
I don't even know where to begin. The breakfast is damn abysmal. The pancakes are like rubber pothole covers. The french toast is soggy and tasteless (I know there is not even a speck of damn nutmeg in the batter). The eggs are jello-like. The bacon is floppy and see-through.
So...how about the lunch? The taco meat tastes like crumbled newspaper mixed with doo-doo. I spit out the first bite, it was that bad. The New England style clam chowder was edible with salt and pepper, however, there were hardly any clams or even potatoes to be seen. So it was basically cream of cream soup. The hot dogs were surprisingly okay. They taste like the hot dogs at Costco, however, all they had for toppings were ketchup, mustard, sriracha, mayo, and A-1. Relish would have been great, just saying. There were no raw onions, either, but that's okay with me, since raw onions are the food of the devil and taste like the root of the fart tree.
The dessert was disappointing. Their soft-serve ice cream was all ice and no cream. Well, not literally, but it tasted like unflavored ice milk. I guess if it's good enough for Maude Flanders, it's good enough for the rest of us. The cream puffs were messy and not sweet. The eclairs had no cream in them at all. And the cakes were dry. At that point, I'd had enough.
For $20, I guess I shouldn't have expected much. But I didn't expect to leave hungry from a buffet. This is the WORST buffet I have ever had, and I do mean the WORST.
Appreciate the $20 hot dogs, Circus. Love your Astrodome, but I'm never going back to your buttfet. Yuck.
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