| rev:text
| - Chinese restaurants are to Avondale what pizza joints are to Peoria; they come included with every strip mall, equipped with generic menus, Pepsi fountains and a seemingly randomly assigned embarrassingly stereotypical name.
Golden China is on the opposite corner of 107th & Indian School as Dragon Garden Express and a block west of Wong's. This explains why I never tried it all these years. I just saw it at superfluous.
It's like putting Ballpark pizza right by Pullano--oh wait.
I usually don't get takeout at night because at Wong's and DGE their dinner entrees come with steamed rice and I can't hang with steamed rice. It's like fried rice without the personality, or Ann Coulter without her Adam's apple.
But dammit I needed some sweet and sour pork or kung pao two. There was no negotiating with my appetite. It was Chinese or the other thing I'm always in the mood for: ramen. And I've been trying to cut down on that. At the rate I'm putting all these preservatives in my body, I will live to be 200. And Law and Order will still be on television.
So I decided to take a chance on Golden China in hopes they could spare me from the wrath of the steamed rice god.
Being too distracted by the superbly cliche interior decorating, I failed to notice the menu posted on the window. So once I got to the counter, I was only able to browse for a few seconds before just randomly selecting whatever sounded good.
I ordered the twice cooked pork. While I sat in one of their two-small-for-me-but-what isn't? chairs, one of their staff brought it out to me and handed me a plastic bag that felt a little heavier than normal.
When I got home, I found that my standard styrofoam tv takeout tray had come with two small paper bags.
One contained the fortune cookies and some hot oil.
The other came with a cheese wonton, an eggroll, and a crab puff.
While I was delighted to see all the treats my dinner came with, it left me perplexed.
If the eggroll is right here, then what's in the third compartment of the takeout tray? Oh please don't be two compartments of fried rice.
Be still my beating heart.
My dinner came with fried rice AND NOODLES.
An entree with noodles? Are you sure you aren't Panda Express?
As expected, the pork was amazing. And spicy. Glass of milk spicy. The noodles were soft and slimy, the crab puff was crabtastic, the eggroll was savory and crunchy, not even the bland and unimaginative fried rice could ruin this meal.
Looking back, I realize that I am really bad at describing flavors. How did I get to be Elite again?
I was so full I thought I would rupture my stomach but I still wanted more.
So I went again for lunch the next day.
I got the sweet and sour pork. It was hot and juicy, with chunks of pineapple mixed in with the vegetables and tender meat. While not nearly as filling as the dinner experience, it served to stave off my endless hunger for cheap Chinese for a few hours.
The takeout is just as good and filling as Wong's dine-in. I can't attest to GC's dining-in experience yet, because every time I've gone there I was the only one in the restaurant, and I have a rule about being at the only occupied table in a restaurant. That happened to me on a date once. It's hard to maintain interesting "getting to know you" conversation while some waiter lurks over you practically begging you with their eyes to give them something to do.
Moral of the story: If the zombie apocalypse occurs and it turns out that brains taste like orange chicken, just leave me behind.
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