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| - "EW" is the only word I can think of to fully express my feelings about this hotel. Although the prices appear cheap compared to others in the area, it AIN'T CHEAP ENOUGH to get me to step foot in this shit-hole ever again. First of all, it may be on the strip but nowhere near where anyone coming to Vegas wants to be.... your at least a 5 minute cab ride to anywhere you might want to venture besides Mandalay Bay... which is amazing. I'd rather sleep in a Mandalay Bay bathroom than rest my head on a Luxor owned pillow. Blech!
The second we stepped into this dark, creepy, dirty, cheap place we were beyond confused. WHERE THE F*CK IS THE LOBBY? There are NO correct signs. We walked around for at least 20 flippin' minutes before even finding the check-in area. And what do ya know, they don't do early check-ins! Who woulda thought such a disgusting place would not accommodate to their guests needs! Ha! So after talking to 3 different employees who barely spoke Enlgish.... go figure.... we finally we're able to place our luggage behind the front desk to go drown ourselves in alcohol to be cleansed of the filth that is the Luxor. (Wait til I tell you how they lost the tag to our bags, that ones a doozy!)
After our 50 pound bags weren't weighing us down, we decided to check out the hotel. I considered, maybe, just maybe I was judging a book by it's cover. But nope! This book is shit, just like it's cover! We couldn't get 20 steps without being harassed by a Luxor employee... "Hey! You guys from around here?", "Hey, you guys interested in seeing a free show?", "Hey, you guys interested in additional accommodations?", oh and my favorite "Hey sexy, you come to Vegas often?" .... "Hey, SEXY?" Where am I? MEXICO???? Get outa here with your grossness you Luxor creeps!
Besides the obnoxious employees, when was this place built? And I don't even need to ask if any renovations have taken place, cus that's pretty obvious! The hotel is a straight maze. It's beyond confusing. When you ask an employee how to get to a certain area of the hotel, they give you landmark directions.... "turn left at the Starbucks".... THERE'S 5 STARBUCKS IN THIS PLACE DIP-SHIT! Not one ounce of sunlight creeps into this dreary tomb. And the decor.... wait, what decor? Isn't this supposed to be Egyptian themed? We ARE in a f*cking pyramid! And what's with all the dead body exhibits? The ONLY thing I thought was even remotely intriguing was that the Titanic exhibit was there, although I had already seen it at Great America, SO yeahhhhh.
After attempting to give this place a shot, we went back to get our bags and head to our rooms. When retrieving our bags, we handed a rude bell boy our tag and he vanished to the back, returning with other bags for other guests. We waited about 20 minutes without bags. What the Hell? No one else ever asked us if we had been helped, they just let us stand there looking like tards. Finally, I spoke up.... "Is he planning on bringing us our bags anytime today or?" Ugh. Now to our room we go..... or so we thought. "The elevators are down this hall to the left." we were told. We follow the hall down and to our surprise come to a 4 way split... which way? There are 3 lefts and NO SIGNS! WOW, REALLY? Now, my patience level is serious at negative 27349826945682. So funny that the employee told us that the ELEVATORS we're down this hall and to the left, because in this hotel there is no such thing as an ELEVATOR.... they are called INCLINATORS and go side to side, not up and down. Oh and when you get in the INCLINATOR, it won't go anywhere until you slide your key, so noooo we didn't ride the INCLINATOR back and forth for 5 minutes before realizing this little fact, cus like I've mentioned before there are NO SIGNS and the employees are VERY intelligent!
Now for our room. It was, whatever. Motel 6 I'm sure has similar or nicer rooms. Sure it has all your basic necessities, a bed, a bathroom, a TV from the 70s, 2 lamps, no decor, no view. Like I said, it was, whatever.
This hotel makes me want to go swimming in a pool of hand sanitizer, punch strangers in the face and cry tears of annoyance. Like I said, EW!
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